Jay Vern Speak!

do not need to be elaborate

2011-01-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

T.T

Back to reality

2010-04-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Maui,Hawaii. Back to work for the 2nd day. Yawn. still feeling a lil jet lag. Hawaii is great! gonna update my whole trip on the next post :)

Holiday~

2009-09-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

4days raya holiday + one day mc.
1st raya holiday-work till 7am.
2nd raya holiday work till around 5pm , went out for dinner, and had an accident. a stupid suspected drunk/had med driver bang our car from back. i hurt my neck. he dint want to give any information about him self. so we went off to police station after taking photos of his car. damn bad luck
3rd day raya, rest, night went to 'urut' my neck
4th day raya, morning dad gave me a pain killer for my neck. allergic on it and causes rashes all over my body and both eyes swollen like gold fish~ T.T went to the doctor and he check my neck. he say my neck muscle is swollen , but it will be ok with some rest. night went to 'urut' my neck.
mc- whole day rest, work for few hours at the afternoon, night when for 'urut' my neck.
TODAY- start working edi.... still have the lazy mode with me.... gotta throw tat away~ yawn~ tonight needa still go 'urut' after end work.

*Old man say " wa everyday go urut, will you fall in love with the 'urut' sifu anot?"
ahaha.... crazy old man....

will meet him for dinner tonight i hope... em... might not meet him for few weeks as he is going back to his hometown after exam this friday.... gonna miss him alot~ xoxo.

feeling

2009-09-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

felt empty, when i'm down n depressed i have no one to share with... what a sad life i have.

3rd day

2009-09-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

Damn... it's only the 3rd day.... i've already feel damn tired... it's not about the work actually. i feel stress. i repeat it's not about the work! it's bout my mom. haih~ she keep on scolding me cause i back home late. scold me cause i needa work till so late. like i have a choice wat time to leave. she keep on telling me tis kinda job is not good. it's jus the beginning! i cant imagine how will she react when i start shooting.... god~~~~ help me

My 1st job:)

2009-09-01T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day working at red comm.... it wasnt really a good 1st day :( first i went tru jam for 2 hours to reach the office which is at kelana jaya. working there is really different with my previous intern company... it's serious work. It's tiring but i know it is jus the beginning, but it good in a way cause i know i gonna learn alot from them. work till around 8pm yesterday and i almost cry when i'm in my car. -.-" i forgot to turn off the light again, so i cant turn on the engine. damn tired, sleepy, and hungry:( called my old man to come and help me. p/s: it's great to have my old man around :) hehe. then went to meng tin to eat curry fish head rice. he cheer me up:)

This morning i leave my house at 750am. suprisingly i reach office around 850am. not much jam. so here i am, writing blog alone in the office. emm.... wonder what do i needa do later?

a lil something to update....

2009-08-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

i think....... i'm loving u more n more everyday:)

funny stuff !

2009-05-09T20:00:00.001-07:00

what do love means...

2009-05-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

i use to be very naive... i always think that when you are in love with someone, eventually u will get married and live happily ever after... just like what the fairly tales always claim.
however, as i grew up, the society and my surrounding has been telling me that TRUE LOVE or FOREVER LOVE is almost impossible to have. So call HAPPILY EVER AFTER might not even exist. why would i say so? now... think... a relationship might not even last a year! and if it really last for a year, a relationship of 10 years might end just like that too! Married couple might get divorce! Married couple with children might get divorce too! now.... think... what does LOVE means again? what does a RELATIONSHIP means again? yes... yes... i know there are couple who are still together until the day they die but... are you sure that they are still tat lovely or still love each other like they use to till that date? i bet only a small amount of them...

Dont misunderstand... haha i'm doing good with my boyfriend... it has been 2 years with him... i love him, yes i do love him madly. but at times i will wonder how long will we last. what would be our future? yes indeed.... LOVE is a complicated word.

it is always easy to have a relationship, but it is hard to maintain a relationship...

here i would wish my family and friend to be happily ever after with their other half. hope that happiness will always be with you.

Love,
Jiavern

another stage of my life..

2009-05-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

i know it has been awhile since i last blogged... I've been busy or more accurately I've been lazy...

Have been thinking a lot these days ... about my future life... have been thinking the right decision to make so that i would not regret in future. Previously i have choose to futher my studies and take my Master at USM perhaps taking Film Studies or Screen Studies. But i dont know why suddenly i dont feel like it anymore. Friends around me have been sending their resume and attending interview even before the final exam ends. This really make me wonder.... "Why so rush?" It makes me feel like i'm a useless fella that waste her time and money for nothing. Honesty speaking, when i decided to take Broadcasting as my Degree Course, i actually know, deep inside i will not work in this field. But, yeah... u might be wondering now... if that is so, why do i still choose to study it? Now let me make this clear. I do not want to work in this field does not mean i'm not interested in this course. And you know what? this is the only course that i'm interested in except Advertising. And why do i still choose it even tho i know i might not be working this field? it is because i think most of the people do not work in their field of studies. A business man might turn out to be a broadcaster, or a broadcaster might turn out to be an insurans sales man. haha i'm just kidding about the insurans sales man, but i guess u know what i mean. Thus, i've decided to study what i'm interested in and what i will enjoy while learning it, and yes i do enjoyed my 4 years of studies. and NOW... it is another stage of my life, where i need to once again CHOOSE. I actually have few things in my mind which is :-

1. continue my studies -master in film studies or screen studies- and mayb work as a lecturer in the future
2.apply to be a cabin crew- i know this might not be related at all with what i'm doin and some might think that i've wasted my 4 years of studies. but it has always been my dream and i do think that there are nothing that is wasted as the knowledge that i get will always be with me no matter where i go
3.work in my broadcasting field and apply for production work
4.work in advertising field- production

no matter how, i seriously feel like resting for at least a month. Do nothing but rest. suddenly i feel like i'm really old. haha i dont know why....

i hope i could make the right decision so that i wont regret in future. Do leave ur comment for me if u hav suggestion :) and p/s: sorry for late update . hehe will update often after this i think, at least i hope haha

when tears dries

2008-11-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

yup.... when it dries...

i'm ok now... we are ok now...
as usually, after blogging and crying i'll always be fine.
but this time, i recover faster then i tot i would.
and yeah.... i lose.... i speak to him first
i guess... i never get the chance to be silent.

However, no matter what happen to us, i know that we love each other very much.

silent

2008-11-25T02:29:00.000-08:00

silent.....
we just went silent.....
and you walk off....

what does this means?
i dont understand you enough after we have been together for one year and seven month?
are you tired?
dont you have anything to say?
i doubt..... do we have anything to do or say?
if i go silent..... we'll always be silent then...
it is my fault?
are we really people from two different world?
perhaps it's always been you for being silent all the time....
perhaps it's been me for always wanted a conversation....

i know i love you
i know i always do love you
but..... can i carry on like this..... just because of the word LOVE

i cant let you go.....
i really really cant let you go
you are everything to me
i love you
love you so much
and i know.... you do love me too....
but..... what does love means?

why do i feel so hurt..
why is tears keep on falling down....
why cant i understand my self....

i always wondered .... everytime we fought..... if i dont talk to you first .... will you ever talk to me? when? but i never get the answer.... as i am always the one that talks first..... as i cant bare the pain when we fight and dont talk to each other....

i choose to be silent now.....
at least for now....
hoping to wait....
you to talk to me first....
but...
can i bare the pain?

Quattro~

2008-11-22T22:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night i went to Quattro with Teddy. It was a great place to hang out, nice interior design, nice concept.
We first had our dinner at the restaurant which is the Summer area. The food was good but not fantastic , however i love the enviroment there:) To reach the restaurant we have to pass by the lounge which is he Spring area. We walk tru a path way which has nice design on both sides of the wall. As i was walking, i saw a few umbrella on the beginning and the ending of the path way. I tot it is for the customer if it rains out side.... but.... i know the reason why when i walk out. As the path way which is suppose to be dry is raining now!... i was suprise... haha never expected this is the reason why they provides umbrella. So the guy there gives us an umbrella and yet... we r still wet cause the umbrella is too small! but yeah... we do have fun.
Then we went to the club which is the Autumn area. I love the design in it, where the main color of it is in black and red which makes it feels mysterious. However, like all other clubs, it's a little bit too crowded. We went back around 12 plus as you know... i'm a cinderella... haha. oh one more funny part. i went clubbing in jeans, a basic tee, cardigan sweater and a sandals with no makeup and everyone there are wearing like they are goin to somekinda prom night. haha... so i'm the weird one there.:) haha. never expected to go clubbing that night. and yeah... i miss the winter part.... Teddy told me that, it is really cold in there and they provides sweater for the customer too! em... i sure needa visit there some other day:)

so... a lil info for those who is interested to visit there:)

Temp : +18ºCClimate : Windy
Feat : The longest bar in KL and entertainment provided by local and international DJ's The art of clubbing just went up a notch. Spanning a whopping 6,000 square feet, this colossal Japanese-themed club is the first of its kind in Malaysia. Autumn has all the elements to give you an unforgettable night out! Let the venerable guest DJs, both local and international, to drop the most infectious tunes and allow the ‘geishas’ to placate the driest of throats.

Temp : +26ºCClimate : Sunny

Feat : Cozy alfresco seating with view of KLCC Petronas Twin Towers
It's hot in KL all year round, so get some shade & slip on your summer best and cool off at Quattro's alfresco-styled eatery. While you're at it, dig into delightful Western and Asian fusion cuisine as you take in the magnificent view of KLCC and the Petronas Twin Towers.

Temp : +21ºCClimate : Cooling breeze and occasional rain

Feat : Live performances by bands, comedians, etc.
Find your comfort zone... Relax and lounge amidst the bounce of live music in a swanky ambience where the weather could be clear one minute or raining (indoors) the next. Park yourself at the stunning 'Aquarium Bar' (yes, the bar is actually made of real aquariums with live fish) if you're one who likes his/her drinks served fast and furious, with a bit of flair.

Temp : Main room @ around +10ºC; Snowing room @ -5ºCClimate : Mostly chilly with occasional snow

Feat : DJ's accompanied by live performers
When it snows, it blows, but not at the Winter Bar. Sure, the thermostats fluctuate and may drop to an all-time low. The temperatures vary: at approximately +8ºC to +10ºC in the main room to around -5ºC in the snowing room. At the Winter Bar, everyone gets a reason to dress up and be seen in (literally) the coolest bar in the city.

*The Raining Path Way*

17.11.08

2008-11-17T03:09:00.000-08:00

i feel hurt.
seriously...ihateu

A poem from UTAR FCI student

2008-08-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

I join Utar because its 'pien yi',
I also thought it will be a good uni,
but end i jalan jauh sampai nak mati,
because all the faculties telah dibahagi....

in UTAR everything is about money,
pay late then they phone tak henti henti
even worse the officers talk like your are seekor babi,
no manners no courtesy...

Admin is crazy,
you wanna find DSA they will ask you to go jalan from PA to PD
if you complain they will say dont be lazy,
remind again kena marah lagi...

If got class til malam nanti,
after 8 the air cond will mati,
when we complain heaty,
they say the building is empty,
meng meng still got security,
where got count as empty...

UTAR thought we are monkey,
payment also need to go different faculties,
from collecting receipt, filling in form to paying money,
From PC, PA, PC and need certified go PD ...

If your lazy please dont come to this uni,
coz UTAr bus service also need money,
they dont accept cash accept tickets what a pity,
70 cents if u want to beli....

people say come uni,
sure can tiao yu,
mana tau whole uni oso 'beh khi',
got leng lui also treat us like sui yu...

toilet in UTAR very geli,
if it dont stink then your very lucky,
but the floors are very watery,
if you complain to the aunty,
they also tak peduli,
because they will be very penat if they really wanna cuci,
coz UTAR boyz dunno how to aim 'n' pee,
so it is very smelly...

driving in UTAR is a liability,
Every time you park its very risky,
no parking lot for student in the uni,
jaya one got but its not free,
if double park then put call me message but berhati-hati,
or else saman Rm300 lagi ...

food in every faculties also 'bu pien yi',
they will call out numbers with mic like pertandingan menyanyi,
want cheaper and nicer food must go mamak kat tepi,
1 thing bad its hot and dirty ...

UTAR got alot of library,
small with insufficient facility,
going in also need to show ID,
people go in to walk and talk kat sana sini,
so students there are very noisy,
if your smart you know dont come in to study...

UTAR computer lab very mini,
Pen drive masuk lubang sure got baby,
pregnant with all the trojan, worm and cookies,
besides that the server very laggy,
in PA the lab is like CC,
student LAN games with any games terkini ...

UTAR staff dunno get how much for their salary,
if they have problem they will ask you tunggu sini,
change people also cannot solve it then they ask tunggu lagi,
then change people again also cant solve then very soli...

Chinese in UTAR is majority,
Dont know how to speak chinese then they will say you 'lan si',
good students always carry a electronic dictionary
so they will learn better for their study...

Dr Ling say UTAR is good so study disini,
but what is happening we also dont have berita terkini,
coz the moving to kampar is very lousy,
thats why all the good lecturers also wanna lari,
no one wanna go there as its a town like 3rd world country,
no KFC no MCD,
1 thing they have is MYFC,
trust me for that place is not counted as lousy...

assignment for GD banyak sampai mati,
rushing assignment setiap hari,
no need sleep macam zombie,
some more class will be 8 pagi,
so macam mana bangun ni,end up kena barred lagi...

Utar is not very lousy,
if you like to 'tham siu pin yi'
after you come in you will terpendam dalam hati,
coz UTAR my choice is the tagline of this uni...

Before come in kena sedar diri,
Got money please go oversea,
study abroad not like me,
if got choice cabut lari,
or end up like me always memaki.....

p/s :P nice poem~

not feeling good

2008-08-05T04:35:00.000-07:00

I'm really sad... I feel hurt... I dont understand .
I dont understand my self. I dont know what I am thinking. I dont know what i want.
I always think that love will last forever and we should be faithful to the only one we love.
I still remember, a guy i once love tell me before this that the reason he do not choose me is because i'm a girl who is too serious in relationship. He say that love does'nt last forever, at least not in our age. I dont agree with him and he cant make him self to agree with me, so we dint choose to be together even though we do have feeling with each other.
I always hope that we will be together with one another till my last breath. But now, i'm afraid. I do not dare to hope for more. I dont know..... maybe we are so different. I know and i do understand that everyone in this world is different and no one in this world is perfect. But i really wish that i could find someone that could love my inperfection. Someone that would actually love things that i think i shouldnt do. Maybe u think you have done alot of things for me and think that i never understand you. But i also think that i have done even more for you and you never did make that effort to make me happy. Maybe what you have done to me is not wat i want u to do. Maybe what i've done for you is not what u want me to do.
What i can say is..... there is no right or wrong in a relationship, it's how much are you willing to give and how much do you expect to get back. I think i've given too much and i'm actually kinda tired with it. But that is just wat i think, mayb you think the opposite way. Expect? yes, maybe i'm expecting too much. I admit i'm a very demanding person, i expect alot from people around me.
I remember when i was young i always ask my friends....." Who would you choose? A person that u love more than he/she love's you ,or a person who love's you more then you love him/her". As for my answer? i will say " i would choose a person that i love him more then he loves me" .... I think i should change. I should choose a person that "Love me more then i love him" will my life be easier then? I dont know. I'm tired.

Money!

2008-07-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

MONEY $$$$

Ok.... i'm not trying to be materialistic. I'm just being realistic! Once upon a time ago, people use to say " money is not everything but money is sure something!". Well.... i think they need to rephrase it to ; "Money is not only something, It's F**KING every single thing!".

Don't believe it? Ok... let's come out with some situation. We will have a look on a human basic needs according to the MaslowHierarchy :-

Ok we will just start from bottom to top. Physiological, breathing,food, water,sex,sleep, homeostatsis, excreation. Obviously food and water is where we use our money the most. How much do you spend for your breakfast/lunch/dinner? Well.... let's say you are f*ckin 'kiam siap'. You eat nasi lemak, morning rm1.20( u think it's still 80sen a? dude are u livin in kl? this is just a nasi lemak kosong for your information), for lunch you eat maggi cup Rm1.50(No? yes i hope it's still 90sen, but check out urself at the nearest market), dinner maggi+an egg Rm 2. So the total money u need to use for your food perday is Rm 4.70, so one month would be Rm141( if only u eat the same thing for the month)..... fuh~ now that is cheap. Drink? hey... we are on a budget.... so why dont you just drink plain water! oh no..... they charge 40sen for plain water??? damn.... change plan... u either dun drink or you bring your own water from home. Just drink the water from the tap, dont cook it, because if u cook it u need gas, gas need money. So that's it.... Next sex? hell yeah u need money for sex! if you dont have a gf but u are dyin for sex, u will need to visit the 'kandang ayam'....WARNING!- In this place.. no money no talk!, if you have a partner, it would be easier, but u still need money, this is call "the long time investment" money for "maintainence". Excreation? "aiya...shit only ma... also need money meh?" ... well of course it's free if u do it at your home, but if you are at a mall, you will be charge min 20sen max Rm5. WTF?? Rm5 to use the toilet? "your shit wrap wit gold one izit?". OKOK i think we need to stop here...Next chapter.

Safety....When ever you hear this word, you will hear another word next coming up next... which is INSURANS. I dont think i need to list down every Insurans type to you because i bet you already knew it. About the price? haha.... don't ask about it.... i think if u add in the ki lik ka lak it's already more then your one month makan money above.

Love.... friendship, family and sexual intimacy. Who say dont need money for that? To maintain your friendship u need to often come out for "Yam Cha time" there! MONEY again! okok... you dont wanna waste your petrol to go out... well at least call to update on each other life.... there! MONEY AGAIN! same goes for family and for your love one. My boyfriend once told me that, "To pamper someone, you need money!" after thinking about it, i do agree on him. you see... if u wan to pamper someone, you will need to c them often, then you need petrol money. If you see them for the whole day means your makan money has to x2( dont tell me you are asking your bf/gf the same meal with you?) you want to make your partner happy, then you are buying stuff that he/she like.... THERE YOU GO! MONEY AGAIN!

Esteem... nowadays, people spend money for this more then anything else! They want to look good, then only they will have high self esteem. They spend from top to toe :- professional hair stylish cut, make ups, branded cloth and shoe, manicure and pedicure, go to fitness center and etc. "sam leng chi yin leng(if your heart is beautiful, naturally you will be beautiful" F**k it.... try telling girls/boys about this statement and ask them not to groom them self. I bet there will be no more jam in KL because no one is goin out to show their ugly face.

Self actualization..... solving problem? well this is easy.... but to really solve a problem you need money... example: a police stop you and how do you solve your problem ? 2 option, A- take the saman and go, B-" abang boleh bagi satu kali lagi chance ka?", then put ur money under your ic and hand it to him". There... problem solve... how sweet.

So, you must be thinking.... why the hell did i came out with this topic. I was actually kinda stress and having financial problem. The famouse quote of the day for the Malaysian is " Aiya minyak naik la, semua pun naik la!" so, makan naik, air naik, gas naik, electricity naik, expenses naik,salary jer yang tak naik naik... aih..... my salary a month around Rm400, well this consider alot compare to with my other friends who is also doin their internship. So after i started working i did not ask money from my parents anymore, they use to give me Rm 800 for rent and living at pj last time. Ok so , what can i do with Rm400, my phone bill around Rm100, parking Rm50+, so that left me around Rm250 for a month! So, i can only use around Rm8 per day, no shopping no movie time. BUT!!!! AKU ORANG KL! how can i live without shopping or going to cinema. So i need to cut down on my food or eat more maggi. aih... damn pai seh la... i every eat maggi at office until everyone in the office sound me for eating maggi everyday. I can only say "I memang love eating maggi ge ma....." takkan wanna say i po kai jo wo.... hahahha.... haih... stress a....

"Money is not only something, It's F**KING every single thing!".

Bye bye....

2008-07-30T23:42:00.001-07:00

This reminds me of my grandma and grandpa.... muaks i love and miss u guys so much..

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up highWe will never say bye
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate togethe
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandfather
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

What a week.....

2008-07-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my office chair looking like a dead fish... feel sick and tired.
it was a busy week for me.. almost every day reach late since last Sunday. However, i enjoyed it alot.

Last night i went to Damansara,Vintry with Sue and Erng Mei, it was suppose to be a belated birthday dinner with Mei. Yes, i know.... its really a late belated birthday. I'm sorry erng mei... it all Sue's fault! *wink ^^. Haha you know la... someone is a superstar already of course it will be hard to date her out. I am glad to know that Sue, our Miss Malaysia 2008 are still the same old Sue i know from Ktar. The sweet, friendly,cute, blur girl that still loves Jay! hehe...
Like what Erng Mei say, it's like we never miss out anything in our life, we are just catching up from where we stop last time. Surprisingly, last night was the 1st time for 3 of us to chill out together out of uni! Haha...Yes we are best friend in uni but it's weird we do not really go out together. It's great meeting you guys up...eventho it took us almost 2 week to date our princess! haha... muaks love you guys... and... haha i miss the Lin's family... if u still remember... :- doh lin, lau lin, sai lin, mou lin, bo lin , jo lin , yau lin......damn.... i forget the other lin's ..... okok... the member of the lin's family : Su lin(ops... lin?? haha), Erng Mei, Me, Joshua, Balvin, Phui Yhin, Carmen, Jeffrey, Willy.... damn.... who else did i miss?

After meeting up wit the Lin's, i went back to PJ to celebrate our MR. QUEK birthday.... we wanted to make a suprise party for him.. but we fail... cause Quek found out about it.... He say that we cant cheat him... ok fine.... then we'll not celebrate ur birthday next year... will u be suprise then? hehe.... i hope u enjoyed it... Happy Birthday again Quek!

Tomorrow, i'm going to Ee Von birthday party... Another best friend of mine that i have to meet for ages. So... i'll just wish her a early birthday wish here.... haha if only she read this blog. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EE VON! muaks....

I dunno why... it seems like everyone around me are having party for their birthday.... My mom say.... If 21 don't do party, then when only you wanna do o.... erm maybe that's the reason why... It's ok :) i love birthday! i love celebrating birthday with my friends and family! and most important of all! I LOVE BIRTHDAY CAKE! and i duno why! haha i wish i can blow the candle when ever i saw a birthday cake! haha...... birthday birthday faster come! 2 MORE MONTH! 2 MORE!

Equation for the day

2008-07-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

i was reading my previous post as i was too boring.... i saw a post.... equation of the day.... so i came out with an idea do write a new equation for the day

internship ≠ working
; internship = {eat (⅔mcD + ⅓ Pizza hut + Sapura Food court) + sleep [(while reading script + when cleaning stor+ office curi tulang) x (nap³ + nightsleepin + pretendin²)] + stress (√24.7) + 90% Online + sick (3 in 1) + sad(!??! Unknown) + lazy(undeleted virus) + Reading blog} - work

True Fitness

2008-07-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

Chin Yan and I went to True Fitness yesterday to use the Pro Direct Card that i have bought ages ago which cost me RM29.90.

I was quite excited at first but the mood turns when the Fitness Counselor came. I dont really like her as she was not as friendly as the other Fitness Counselor that i had met before this, plus... i hate the way she speaks where she will make u feel bad and low self confidence. Is this their strategy to make u join them? She also tell us that we have to write down our friend name and contact number for marketing purpose. I just don't feel comfortable to give my friend contact number to someone i barely knew. however, at last i still have to write down because she say this is one of the procedure. and guess what? we need to fill in 20 friends name.What the F**K?
Acoording to the coupon, we are suppose to get a door gift which is a shoe bag if i'm not mistaken, but the bag is out of stock. She then tell us " Oh, beg ini dah habis stock , tapi kalau awak isi 30 lagi contact number kawan awak, saya boleh bagi awak botol air free". I look and her then turn to Chin Yan showing here the "WTF" face. Is not that i want the bag or what... but it is stated on the coupon that they will give us another gift if the bag is out of stock. So i ask her, " oh jadi botol air ini replace bag ni la? sebab sini cakap kalau stock habis akan replace dengan benda lain." The she reply, " oh takde bag ini memang dah habis, akan masuk stock nanti, bila ada saya bagi tau la, u isi la nama kawan awak saya bagi botol free, ala isi je bukannya susah." She is like forcing us to write down.... desperate ... I really dont like this... i gave her back the paper and say i dont have so many friends ... fine....next chapter...
Then she bring us to tour the Fitness center, showing us the facilities and all. Next she bring us to measure our fats.... For Female 21 years old, the normal fats should be 25-30%(if i'm not mistaken... said by them) and guess how much is my fats? 37% ! and Chin Yan has 33% of fats! That means we are OBESE!!!!!!! They told us that we are OBESE! damn.... i know i'm fat....but i never know i'm OBESE!!!!!!!! we'll not that i do not admit that i'm fat(*gagaga... nono i'm jus big size...) but i dont think their measurement is correct.... they did not take my height or etc... erm mayb i'm really obese.... but u know what that 'menyakitkan hati saya'.... when she tell me that u know your fats are more then me(*image she like my elder sister size!which is almost 2 size bigger then me!) and she say when i walk she can see my fats moving... like toin toin toin....

SABAR JE LAR!!

working ;)

2008-06-26T00:40:00.000-07:00

sorry.... to my readers....(*haha if only there are) ya i realise i really haven't update for quite sometime.... haha erng mei don't la scold me... i actually almost forgotten that i have a blog. hehe... well there is alot i ahve to up date here.... of course ... something to be proud of is ... "CONTAMINATED" won :) i'll up date on this soon...
i'm actually doing my industrial traning now.... i'm working at Astro Shaw-Tayangan Unggul. ya... haha and i'm suppose to be working now... hey! i mean i am working now *winks. i miss uni life so muchh~
currently in pre-production stage for our company new feature film. working life is ......... tiring, hard and challenging....but .... starting to enjoy it.. :) learning alot here.... next month we will start shooting! the Production period, the most exciting period and also the time that is going to kill me ...hehe..... i can't wait for it to come! hehe.... hope i'll enjoy it... update with you soon~ muaks

my new home...

2008-03-16T01:35:00.000-07:00

A note that my dad send to us:-

Today 19th. January 2008 is both a sad and happy day. Sad because this old house has brought back many sweet memories. I have seen all my kids gradually growing up from school days to this day where they are now. Looking back this old house is where your grandpa and grandma used to come to visit us especially especially their little grand children. It also remind me of how me and mum have raised your all up through sweat and tears. But as a saying goes life has to move on and we must look forward to seek better quality of life. As I said before, I have always treat my kids as little children even though they have grown up because every time I look at them they always bring back memory of old days when they a still a minor. Anyway, may our new house bring better fortune and prosperity to all of us..

p/s:-yups.....i hope the same too.....to my friends....u are invited to come visit my new house anytime.....hehe....jus contact me~ keep in touch ya....muaks

it's chinese new year~

2008-02-08T09:09:00.001-08:00

yeah~ it's chinese new year...
but i dont feel like it's chinese new year.....
i'm celebrating chinese new year first time in my life at kl....
it was......boring....
and....the thing about chinese new year......
it reminds me about grandma and grandpa......
i miss them alot.....
miss the time grandma will call us and ask us what do we want to eat on the reunion night dinner......
i miss the first day of cny morning where my grandma and grandpa will come in the room and wake me up and say.....gong xi fa chai....nah ur ang pao....i miss the moment my grandma was nagged about everything that my grandpa do ....and then my grandpa will look at me and show me those funny face and try to imitate my grandma action......i really miss them......
chinese new year means nothing without them around......
i miss u ....i love u grandma...i love you grandpa

nothing much to say

2008-02-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

Jayvern and Lven

yaya....we are happy...haha...i just realise i never really say alot bout our relationship here.....

welll so far so good lor...just like other couples.....doing normal couple things....haha....

i dont know what to say anymore....haha......just.....happy. lo...haha that's all....muaks

none of ur business

2008-02-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

yes yes.....i know....it's none of my business....
u decided to leave it....then leave it completely....
if someone took it.....u cant stop the person...
u cant say....."hey dude....that's mine....yaya i know i dont want it but hey....it should be there went i want it...i mean when ...or if only i want it"
common.....dont be so selfish....
but hey....to tell the truth....everyone is made to be selfish....perhaps not all the time...but there are still a little selfishness in u..... dont u dare to tell me that u've never been selfish before...
yes i know it's wrong.....i know clearly that i dont want that thing anymore....but it still bothering me that the thing has found the new owner....
well.....perhaps....i should just write down my the selfish side of me here.....and forget about it real soon...... so.....i just hope that......the thing could change and love himself better.......dont tell me that life sucks......common....everyone's life sucks....so get over it....just be what u want to be....i hope u will be happy and the person u want to be with ...are the one that u always wanted it to be with........

Don't you ever wish
you were someone else
you were meant to be
the wayyou are exactly
Don't you ever say
you don't like the way u are
when you learn to love yourself
you're better off by far
and I hope you always stay the same...
'cuz there's nothin of you I would change

I think that you could bewhatever you want to be
if you could realize
all the dreams you have inside
don't be afraid
if you've got something to say
just open up your heartand let it show you the way

Believe in yourself
reach down inside
the love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself
you'll come out right
have faith in what you do
you'll make it through

a very meaningful song.....

2007-11-23T20:05:00.000-08:00

its a very famous song long long time ago......keep on listening to it these day..... hope u enjoy it~

MP4 ( - What Is Love?
Album: Random MP4

i want you, i need you

mui gor yan dou yau kui dei geh ngoi ching gu si
mou yan ji, gu si dim yeung hoi chi dim yeung jung ji
yuen fan yiu lei jau lei, mou fan hai bin gor si hau
wah jau jau jau,yuen fan yi ging dou jor jun tao
yi yeung yeh, ng hai yan yan tai dak gang tung tau
ging seong dou wui yau hou dor ma muk geh si hau
yau yan wai ngoi hor yi sei sam tap dei, fu chut yat sang
hai mai jik dak, jau gin yan gin chi
nei ji gei hui lam

ching tung ngoi, yiu jou chut lei
bing ng yung yi
hau hau seng seng wah ngo yau ling leok ng dou dong jung yi si
ching wai hor mat,
ling si yan duk gan duo shue, dou ng ji
mei chang tai gin guo, gor jung ji mei dim wui ji
hai, ming ming jung ju ding yik wah hai seong tin guo ngon pai?
yi gor sai gai gam dai dou hor yi jau mai yat chai
jung gok dak, sang tung sei bing ng hai jui yuen gor kui lei
yi hai heong nei min chin, nei yau ng ji dou ngo ngoi nei

i wanna be with you (i know why)
wei he zhi you xia tung ku de hui yi
ni cheng dui wo shuo
ba xin fu liu gei wo
i don't want you break my heart

ai hui na me tung ku (reason why)
li you ni wo bu neng gou shen hu si
si huan ching ni de tian yan ming
jiu suan ai guo pa tung guo
dou yuan yi

chor chor yat hoi chi,
jui jung yi yat gin yeh gin
fat mung dou wui gin min, ching wah min min din wah gong ng yuen
fat sai, hei mong leung yan yit luin jik ji wing yuen
mou lam guo, ngoi ching ji hau bin gam ching geh guk min
ji hai gei lin geh gam ching, yi ging mou for fa chut yin
joi min keong hai mai yat chai, ji wui ling yan tou yim
seong gong fan sau, hoi ng dou hau
mai joi yau yau wah duin, wan gor jik hau,
gai kuit jor kui, yat dou leung duin

ngam luin,seong luin, yit luin, sat luin gam ching hou wan luin
tai duo yau wak yi ga geh yan hou yi yit ching bit luin
fan ngoi ching, yat yeh ching
kui dei wun lung gam ching
sam fan jung yit dou ji hau
mong gei sai soh yau si ching
kei sat ji yiu dui yan, ng hai yau tai duo geh yiu kau
ngoi yat gor yan gam bun ng sui yiu tai duo lei yau
ji yiu jan sam jan yi dui doi,
yi ging hou juk gau
gou mat lut, hai chang ging yung yau yik wah tin cheung dei gau

i wanna be with you (i know why)
wei he zhi you xia tung ku de hui yi
ni cheng dui wo shuo
ba xin fu liu gei wo
i don't want you break my heart

ai hai na me tung ku (reason why)
li you ni wo bu neng gou shen hu si
si huan ching ni de tian yan ming
jiu suan ai guo pa tung guo
dou yuan yi

i want you, i need you

i wanna be with you (i know why)
wei he zhi you xia tung ku de hui yi
ni cheng dui wo shuo
ba xin fu liu gei wo
i don't want you break my heart

ai hai na me tung ku (reason why)
li you ni wo bu neng gou shen hu si
si huan ching ni de tian yan ming
jiu suan ai guo pa tung guo
dou yuan yi

Girls Day Out!

2007-11-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

The Ultimate Girls Day Out which was held at the KLCC Convention Centre on the 23rd of November (the actual event spans 3 days) was such a disappointment.
When i get to know about this event from my fav magazine, seventeen, i get so excited.I can visualize the picture of me goin crazy with all those nice cloths,shoes and make ups. With lotsa lotsa branded and well know name keep appearing in my mind.......Mng? Zara? Roxy? well....jus a few brand to name......
maybe......i've read too much of the Shopaholic novel....and i've slowly became Becky, the main actress in the novel..... I still remember she went to a secret sales in New York.....man.......if only i'm her....hahaha.....dream on.....keep on dreaming....
Well back to the Girls Day Out.....I was so excited.. travel all the way to klcc from mc to meet my sister.....well suppose to meet my sis at 6pm but i reach there at 5pm.....and she reach klcc at 7pm.....which means i;ve been wondering around for 2 hours! and...i'm so tired....i slept only 4 hours the day b4....well imagine how dead i am....haha....well i went there to the convention center....still very excited when i reach there.......but.........suddenly......all the excitement fade away as i walk into the hall............well...... if u wan me to use a word to describe i'll say it's CHEAP! damn.....i'm so disappointed...... where is the so call fashion section??? make up section?? techonology for girl??? damn..... the booth are so cheap... the stuff are so cheap....yup u can c digital camera and stuff...but it still look cheap! if u ask me to recall....well the only brand i can remember is croc! and cloth? jus around 3 to 4 lil small stall selling duno wat brand cloth.it looks more like a "pasar malam" to me.i went there ,walk not more then 5 min and leave the place wit my sis........i actually tot that we will spend hours in there....but....its only 5 min!
orite so sista.......PLZ do not waste ur time to go there........oopsss sorry maybe the management of this event will hate me....but.....common.....it sucks! try harder man!

my public speaking persuasive speech....

2007-11-20T01:49:00.000-08:00

Attention grabber.
There is a place...
Like no other place...

A place of learning...
A place of hope...
A place of warmth...
A place of security...
A place of healing...
A place of relaxation...

A place to release..
A place of love...
And no matter what, a part of you is always left behind.

That’s the place that you and I will visit everyday.

Yups.that’s no other than the TOILET.

Introduction

A very good afternoon to Mr. Edwin, ladies and gentlement. I’m honoured to be given the opportunity to speak out my thoughts on the topic I’ve mention just now. Before I begin my speech let me introduce myself, my name is Tan Jia Vern.Let me start off by asking a very simple question, how much time in average do you normally spend in the toilet a day?1 min?? 5 min??10min??? 20min?? My topic for today is “Sit Not Squat on Sitting Toilet Bowls.” You might think this is funny,but it’s a common behaviour which every one of us practices,especailly when it comes to public toilet. So, I’m goin to highlight four main points to support my statement, which is FIRST:Considerate about others SECOND: Information about bacteria, THIRD: hygiene and LASTLY: Safety

First of all, why should we sit not squat? Simple, because we are all educated people and should know how to be considerate. Toilet seat are invented to provide more comfort to do our daily business. We know how to differentiate which toilet are to be seated and to be squatted.We’ve to be considerate enough to follow the rules for others comfot,just imagine if one person start to break the rules,squatting onn a toilet bowl and creates dity foot prints. It is easy for you to stand up and squat on it, but how about other people? How about the disabled people? The pregnant lady? Or even an over weight person who definitely have problem squating on it? You have an option, but they don’t!When anture calls and they could not bear to control it anymore and what do you think they have to do? They left no choice but to force them to sit on it even though it is very dirty full with all those footstep or maybe even urine that you have left behind. So please be more considerate to other people. Try to put urself in their shoe. Let us do a simple test, Imagine u entering a toilet. That toilet has a big mirror in front of you. Now visualise yourself squatting on a sitting bowl. What do you see?? Do you see a big fat monkey squating and trying to balance himself on a tiny bowl. Do you feel ashamed of youself? So….Do not squat.

There is no rational reason for not sitting down on toilet seat other than avoiding someone else’s mess. You will not get disease by pressing the back of your thigh and butt to a piece of plastic where someone else's thigh and butt have been pressed. To support my point I’ve discover a study by a University of Arizona microbiologist named Chuck Gerba. She said that we do not catch things off our butt but we catch things off your hands.What you catch, in the case of bathroom bacteria, is usually nothing and very rarely will cause a food poisoning.Simply sitting down on bacteria can't hurt anyone, except possibly the bacteria. According to Gerba,in 1998,he and his colleagues made a study on household bathrooms and kitchens to check on bacteria. Surprisingly, she reported that "The toilet seat was one of the cleanest spots in the house,"in fact there are 200 times more bacteria on a cutting board.So ,"If you have a choice between licking a cutting board or a toilet seat," concludes Gerba, "pick the toilet seat."

My third point, hygiene, as I’ve mentioned just now. Well every problem there is a solution. Let's say you are still afraid of contracting bacteria from a toilet seat. What do you do? You use a disposable toilet seat cover. There. Perfect. But nothing is perfect. In maybe a third of the rooms in toilet these days are usually dirty or wet with pee. Now when we want to use this toilet, a seat cover is no longer an option, for it will soak through.So we are forced to either wipe up someone else’s excreations or stand ourselves.Its easy for man but for women its hard as they have nothing to help them aim. But I’m sure the man still need to sit on it if they need to do big business.But first of all, I would want all of u to think. Why is the toilet bowl be contaminated on the first place? Because people do not follow the rules. So please sit ,do not squat on sitting toilet bowls anymore! You can wash away or wipe it with a tisu. Or use this method.Then in future we might have clean public toilet and never have to think of squating on toilet bowls anymore! Please remember, everyone does play a role on this and you do make a difference.

Lastly, it is very important for us to sit but not squat on toilet bowls for our own safety. Due to the unplesant condition of the toilet seat,all of us are disgusted and will automatically opted to squad on the sitting toilet bowl without even giving a second thought on it.Little did we realized that we’re actually putting our lives in danger. However, this way we will put our self in a very dangerous situation. Every creation is designed for its purpose, like I said, a sitting toilet bowl is meant to be seated on, NOT squad, it is not designed to support our body weight at just one point as it’s made of plastic or porcelain which is such a fragile material. To support my standings, I would like to share with all of you a real story which happen to an unfortunate girl who squatted on the toilet bowl, it’s just not her day that she tumbled, slipped and cut her thigh.(*show picture). These photos where taken when the girl was given help by the medic team. So how many of you would like your buttock to be sliced open? Remember this is not the cheap way of reducing weigh. Its guess its very painful but if u all dun belive it u can always try and let me know later. I guess these pictures will be stay in your mind for a while, which can be used as a good reminder every time you attempt to squad on a sitting toilet bowl That is why I would like to stress again, again and again that we should sit not squat on sitting toilet bowls! Remember the phrase, better be safe than sorry, precaution is better than curing, so action against it while it’s not too late!

After listenin to all my points, I would like to repeat again, please sit not squat on sittin toilet bowls.To wrap up my speech, I’m goin to highlight the four main points again FIRST: Safety, SECOND: Considerate for others, THIRD: Information about bacteria and LASTLY: Hygiene. In conjuction with the World Toilet Day 2006 the World Toilet Organization has come out with a campaign on sit not squat on toilet bowls.(*show poster) so once again I would like to ask all of you to join me. SIT not SQUAT on toilet bowls. Clean public toilet are possible. Let’s make them happen! What are u waiting for, kiss your buttock with the bowl, and I will assure you the bowl will surely kiss you back. Back to you.

meaningful quote by famous people....

2007-11-20T01:39:00.000-08:00

mother teresa
-If we cannot love the person whom we see,
How can we love god,whom we cannot see.

Wiliam Shakesphere
-3 sentence for getting success
a) know more than other
b)work more than other
c) expect less than other

Alen Strike
- Dont compare yourself with anyone in this world.
If you do so, you are insulting yourself

Bonnie Blair
-Winning doesnt always mean being first,
Winning means you're doing better than you've done before

Thomas Edison
-I will not say i failed 1000 times,
i will say that i discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure

Leo Tolstoy
- Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changin himself

Einstein
-If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life,
then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life

Charles
-Never break 4 things in ur life-trust,promise,relation & heart because wen they break they dont make noise but pains a lot

Mother Teresa
-if you start judging people you will be having no time to love them

grandpa one year anniversary..

2007-11-16T05:06:00.000-08:00

tomoro, 17.11.07, is grandpa one year anniversary.
In just a blink of eyes.....grandpa has left us for one year....one year...
All leftwith me are just those memories with him.....
i could never ever see his face ,his voice and those funny joke that he use to tell me anymore
i miss him so much....... dad send me an email which was send to him ,wrote by one of my uncle, where i would want to share with u all here.....maybe after reading this,you would learn to appreciate ur family and ur love's one more..... appreciate every single thing they have given to you. well here u go......

I will think of dad as a great father with a lots of :

Patience - whenever we visit him or have him tagged along (he usually does and happy to go out) in the shopping mall, he trots along and waits for us quietly & patiently as we look around in the shops, and usually stares intently at the store items (especially watches, clocks, mementos) and though he liked them, he never buys even when we offered to. Dad never ever asking us to buy anything for him, not sure why but I think he felt we may not have enough money.

Whenever he gets something from us, he would treasure it and keep looking at it in the middle of the night.

Dad always at the background listening to our discussions and never interrupts. He lets mum do the talking and happy to be at the background.

Love- I remember dad showed his love constantly asking how we were & how our children were doing. He persevered and endured all the hardships and hard knocks throughout the long years and never complained. Sometimes I wonder how he managed to get the keep on looking after us and the money to maintain us. I remember when I was about 10 years old in living Lorong 1 when the rent had not been paid for several months. The landlord came to the house ranting & yelling at dad demanding he pay immediately and threatening to evict us. How degrading, shameful and demoralising that was! I will never forget this event as it stuck onto my mind since. Dad just stood motionless and could only say 'yes I will get the money' repeatedly, and with his head hung low he just nod his head. Mum was teary eyed and sad. I never did find out how he managed to keep up the rent then.... yes we assumed dad will somehow manage to solve this matter as he had always been with many other money problems. At one stage mum gave dad a good hiding for 'borrowing' some money from the Ujong Pasir association where he was the treasurer. I wonder how many times he had borrowed and I am sure mum weren’t aware of this!

There was a time where I had not paid my school fees (Form 2) for three months and each month I had to stand up in class when the roll-call for unpaid school fees were called. I could no longer take it any more and had to insist on my dad to pay the $14.00 to my teacher. I was aware at the time that we are very very poor and that we could not afford a lot of basic essentials however I have made up my mind that I must have the money, no more shameful standing up in class anymore as I could not take it.

I came home and told my dad and lo & behold, Mui Kee (who was in Form 5) was in the same boat as she too had not paid school fees for a few months and was insisting dad to pay hers too. I was crying hard however dad had just enough to pay part of my sister’s fees, so I was left devastated.

I remembered dad came along with me to my class the next day and in front of my classmates he pleaded with the teacher. All I could remember the words dad said were ‘please, please, I promise, I promise,” I felt shameful for having dad pleading for me in front of the class but I failed to realise then that how shameful dad must have felt. I could not remember how the fees were paid eventually though and I have a suspicion that It came from the Ujong Pasir Association fund.

In the ensuing months all I can recall was that we were eating white rice porridge with ketchup. When we have an egg cracked (a very rare luxury) into the hot porridge and have it stirred, I enjoyed it so much that I tambah more porridge. In school I used to line up in recess time to collect free biscuits and milk powder for lunch. Sometimes it ran out before my line and had to miss lunch many times. Now I know why I am so skinny!

Once in a while I remembered mum would say to us that dad was going to tow pow some food home for our dinner and our eyes would just lit up when we hear this. We would wait for him eagerly at the front door (like rabbits standing with the hands in front of chest waiting hungrily) as he cycled home. The shop I might say was quite a distance away.

When he came back we could smell the ‘chicken rice’ aroma and our mouth were drooling and could not wait to attack the food. When dad opened the chicken rice packet,.. that’s right… only rice …nothing else. Sometimes he got some meat… chicken necks. Whatever it was it sure smelled and taste nice and we ate to our hearts content.

Those we the days I remembered how we suffered, no food, just plain white rice porridge eating for months and months, no pocket money, no school lunch etc.

Yes these are the few things I remember but I am sure there are many other desperate things dad did just to keep our family going.

This is how dad showed his love to us.

Yes when I see an old man occasionally it not only brings back memories of dad, it conjures memories of his years of toiling, odd jobs, sacrifices, rice porridges, he had done for us. How he did it as a sole breadwinner I could not comprehend. There are things he has done we take for granted, sacrifices we that we were not aware of, and sacrifices he did behind the scenes. I can vision how he & mum talked and cried every night just to endure each day. Of course we were too busy in our little pursuits when were fast asleep.

In enduring his hard life, dad never showed his emotions to us, he never vents his anger, always patient even though we (I did anyway ) may say some harsh words to him, quiet when we had big noisy discussions. He was such a placid man with lots of patience. He helped mum look after our kids and must have been hard on him as mum was pretty tied up with the grand children. I might say he was a larrikin at times, irritable to mum & everyone, and certainly to Ah Chia (mum’s mother). One time I witnessed dad making pranks and faces at Ah Chia resulting in mum scolding him chow tow saying dad was so E CHIN SIN.

Some of us may have this trait I might say. Ah Ken is one of them (I am sure all would agree), myself, Khong, and Ah Kwan not the least. Hey, that’s all the boys! I think our wives could attest to this.

Yes, the memories of dad will never go away. I am sure we constantly think of him every day.

At leat we know mum & dad are in a better place.

so sweet of u

2007-11-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

i was reading tru my email. deleting all those junk mail send by frienster. then i saw..... ..........has updated his blog. out of curious i click at my bookmarks which link to ur blog. eventhough we are no longer that close to each other,but i will still always check out with ur life. Just to update my self and to make sure u had a happy life too.
i was a lil suprise to c my name appear again in ur blog. i mean. i never tought that i would ever be in ur life anymore...haha...i tot i have been forgotten. but still...there.... my name stated so clear on the 2nd place. it might meant nothing to other ppl. but it meant alot to me. so sweet of u to still remembering me as someone in ur life.
i know, we will not have to chance to hang around or have relationship like how we use to be last time. but i'm sure in my heart and urs. we are always best friend. and we know know tat no matter wat happen we will sure help each other out.
so do take care my frien. hope that u will live happily ever after with ur dream girl. miss ya~

fine...

2007-10-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

haha....i'm fine ....so fine..... talk to someone special about it edi....and yups.....i'm back.... sorry for the emo stuff....u know me......crazy feller.....i'll be fine every time after i've write in my blog......its jus a way to release........but i'm will be fine really fast.....so dont worry .........blueks....tired so tired....needa sleep .....muaks

emo freak is back

2007-10-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

i feel hurt, i feel bad , i feel sad, i feel like cryin, i feel like nothing, i feel like i'm useless, i feel lonely, i feel stupid, i feel childish, i feel like no one care, i feel like i have nothing , i feel like i have nobody, i feel like no one cares, i feel like i wanted do much but i never get, i feel like i;m demanding too much but hey i jus want to be happy!, i feel so angry but i cant speak up, i feel disappointed, i feel like giving up, i feel like i want to run away, i feel dark inside, i feel like my heart is burning, i feel like dying, i feel like hiding, i feel like i dont want to be in this world, i feel like i cant live without anyone, i feel like i'm a bitch, i feel like i'm a perfectionist and no one is perfect, i feel so damn bad, i feel so damn hurt, i feel so damn fuckin sad, i feel like i have no one to talk to, i feel like no one will understand, i feel like no one will even fuckin care but keep on complaining, i feel like i've been forgotten, i feel like i'm not being love anymore, i feel like like i'm being to sensitive, i feel like people are hating me, i feel like people are starting to feel that they canot stand my emoness, i feel like i want someone to hug and cry on the shoulder, i fell like i'm so damn stupid that i'm actually writing this n being sad for such a small reason, i feel like i'm so small, i feel like i'm unwanted, i feel like gettin someone who will only do wat i want them to do but hey...these people will not exist ..so wake up, i feel like i wanted to share but i cant, i feel like i'm fakin my self once again like how i use to be, i feel like i'm no longer my self, i feel like life is meaningless, i feel like i want a new life, i feel like running out the road and get bang by a god damn lorry, i feel like i'm too sensitive, i feel like i'm such a bitch, i feel like i wanted so much but i could never get, i feel so lonely, i feel so empty, i feel like i want to lost all my memory, i feel so fake, i feel like i dont know who i am, i feel like i only keep on sayin and doin things that will not make other ppl hurt but perhaps what i'm doin is wrong,i feel like i duno what to say in word how i feel right now, i feel like i'm so tired, i feel so so damn tired, i feel like i dont want to live in this god damn world anymore.

p/s: this is jus a way for me to express my feeling. if u are not coolwith this plz do not read my blog anymore. but dont worry after writin in here i'll forget about tis things very fast....

welcome to the family

2007-10-25T00:02:00.001-07:00

Let us put our hands together to welcome the newest member of the Family.............

ROCKY TAN......

ROCKY TAN......

happy bithday to me

2007-10-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

9 october 2007, my 20th birthday.
i dint celebrate with alot people this year......
friends are not available for me....
but luckly i have Lven with me
it was my best bithday
i have the most birthday sms,testi and also msg this year
i get the most beautiful bithday cake
a cute teddy
a nice tee
and the most memorable memory with my love one....
thanks for evrything.... to my family,friends and my baby....
love you guys

THIN=beautiful= HAPPY?

2007-09-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

is being THIN =beautiful = HAPPY????
ask your self....do u think so?
with all those magazine showin you those models with nice figure and how confident she look with the product that she is advertising......how hot those girl wearing their bikini in baywatch....and how attractive the girl tat jus walk pass u at the mall that she got all the attention of not only guys but girls ,starin at her from top to toe......

living in these kinda enviroment how could u not think to be thin is beautiful? when u are beautiful you will be confident ....and when you are confident u will be happy?

i've just read a blog post by mandy ages ago.....talkin about being pretty= being happy.......in some cases....i do agree on what she say....because at times....i do think like how she think......

do appearance really important to u? i dont know u but i know it is important to me...... i've gain weight these days....and you know what .....it feels really bad when ever people tell you that you are fat..... it feels so fucking BAD......like duh~ i know i am fat....dont u think i cant realise it my self? its fine that u tell me once i'm fat ....but do u need to empasize it and keep remindin me that i'm fat? everytime a person sees me they tell me ......JIA VERN YOU ARE GETTING FAT......or YERRR JIA VERN WHY U SO FAR JOR GEH.......i feel so depress....i hav low self esteem......and when i feel i'm fat and ugly i have no confident at all to be infront of others....sometimes....i even feel like hiding my self from people....because i just feel too ashame to show my ugly face to the public......

when i my self know that i am fat i've already feeling bad.....but when other people keep tellin me that i'm fat it's makin it worst..... i actually tried vomitin after my meal before....but its jus sucks so much that i tell my self...why dont u jus dont eat....and that is how i got my gastrik.....but after i've gone tru the gastrointestinal endoscopy i've never ever wanted to be gastrik any more.This examination is performed using an endoscope—a flexible fiberoptic tube with a tiny TV camera at the end that u put it tru ur mouth to view ur stomach to see if there is any ulcer or anything unusual in it. That is the worst experience i have ever had.......the tube if fuckin big to me ... you can feel it so bad when it go tru ur troat.....i remember i cant stop crying from the moment it start until i get home......and that is why even tho sometimes i will have gastrik but i will not ever tell my parents anymore because i'm scare that they will want me to do the gastrointestinal endoscopy again..... and this is why.....i start to eat wen eva i feel hungry.....and that is how i gain weight......geneticly i'm easier to put on weight .... sometimes i feel so depress when i'm eating.....apart of me telling me dont eat you are fat ....but another part says u need to eat! i dont know how to deal with it.......i want to lose weight.....i really want to lose weight....it's so hard.....i hope i can make it......with a healthy way of course.....

lonely

2007-09-29T03:11:00.000-07:00

well......just a warning to the readers.....if u cant stand me being emo or complainin.....dont read this post......

erm.....i feel lonely.....i feel like i'm getting more and more far with my friends..... i'm like...no longer that close with my bestie anymore...... well things happen things change.... if you ask me..who am i close with now? well i will say none......i miss chillin out with my friends...i miss talkin and sharin my problem with them....miss goin out with them.....but sometimes....yes... like i say...things change..

the other day i went out to yam cha with pui yee.....talkin about friends....she told me she never have a good girl bestfriend...... and so does her bf....... and i ask her....how come? everyone sure have their best friend right? ...then she told me...no..not really....sometimes....somepeople just cant have best friends.....well...now,....i'm slowly agree on her....

i'm a very friendly and outgoin person.....i'm can be very easy to be a friend of someone...but to get a best friend....it's hard.... i use to have best friends during secondary skool life....but wen all of us separated to diff uni....it's like separating us apart too..... i use to have best friends in college life....but shit jus happen.....we no longer close to each other anymore.....i use to have best frien in uni life....but wen all of us have their own partner....it seems.....friends are forgotten....... welll.....maybe....i'm like pui yee....... i'm the category of the "no best friends" people.....am i? or do i have any problem ? never really have best frien tat could last? i've always ask my self this.....maybe i do have this problem......and that is why....people leave me for a reason......

i'm too sensitive....too talkertive....too selfish....too princess ......too rude...... too much.......too emo.....too demandin..... too controlin ....and so many more "too" that people have said to me...

yeah maybe i have mental problem that i need to see a psychiatrist.......maybe i'm getting crazy....maybe i'm thinkin too much....too stress ....too depressed.....what can i do.....that is jus how i am ......

if i'm really what you say.....well....fine....i'm leave my self with no friends......get use to it.....life still have to go on.....

memories....

2007-09-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

i was too boring.....since friendster allow us to upload 1000 photo....well so i decide to look back to all ma old photo and tot i could upload some at there..... well when lookin tru all those pic.....
with the ktar dude......with my family....my secondary school frien........one word....one word....
back then i was.......THIN! damn i'm fat now...haha....i wish i could be as thin as i am last time.....that's more then enough...hahaha
a few pic make me stop and think about those days....these were the few

1.the pic of balvin takin off his shirt when we were singin 'tuo tiao' at red box....haha miss those crazy time...

2. the picture of my crs friens......the pic were i'm eatin sushi wit siang yeng at the food court....the pic i took with chai hong wearing baju kurung holding a bread....the pic i took with sha at my house

3.the picture i took wit grandma and grandpa.....i miss u guys....

4 the pic i took wit my family.....the one where we went to the sasaki buffet....went there too early waitin ppl to pen their door....haha

5.the penang trip with my sis,kee hon,winnie,and kai lap....oh....haha i cut my hair short tat time....

6.the pic i took wit jason at rbt sg wang.....

7. the pic i took wit milo ,chuan pao,and carmen....back then we are best mates...

8. all those pic i took wit erng mei n sulin....damn.....we do took alot pic.....all were taken during lecture and tutorial time.....haha we shouldnt have.....

9.the genting trip with the ktar dude

10.the genting trip wit utar dude

11. my brithday celebration at bangsar

12.sha birthday celebration at decanter...

13 the night time badminton at ktar hostel.....

14.the merdeka day wit ktar dude....where all of us wear red and walk together....hehe it was fun.....and some one interview us too....

15.the bp trip wit the guys

16. the hari canteen i think at eevon skool(pess) wit me n pui yee there....

17 a pic i took wit pui yee at a shop near pusat tuition martin...haha....miss there...miss the teacher there......

18.the canteen day at crs were we are sellin croisant for english language society

19. our drama competition.....the patches

20.utar drama....scarifies for true love....

21.my 1st pic taken wit lven.....how we actually started

22.pic i took wit kye and the geng.....how we actually know each other;.....the bbq for kye bday

welll.....alot things huh......haha....if u happen to be my frien.....and happen to be in the above event.......just take a minute....think of the time tat we have gone tru.......i do miss u guys alot,.....do stay in contact.....love ya guys

the other groups mtv....enjoy it wokie.......

2007-09-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

That Thing You Do! by Gareth Chin & Lim Hui Jun, The One Production.

Kenangan Terindah by Chong Pui See & Che

Graduation [Friends Forever] by Han Chin Pei.

i love my family

2007-09-07T22:44:00.001-07:00

The other day.....my sister forwarded me an email that my dad send to my other sister and brother.... i cried wen i read it....i do agree with daddy....we need to appreciate and love them while they are still here..i do realise that they are getting old....i cant lose them...they are too important for me.....i really hope.....after reading my daddys email...we will at least become better.....i know...all of us did wrong....i believe...we still have time to change what is happening now.....sisters and brother are always together no matter what happen.....i love them alot and i know they love each other too...but sometimes...it's about the way how to show love...... we have to learn how to give and take..... i miss my family alot....well it's only been 2 week i left home.... but it seems like its 2 years.....i miss mummy....called her to chat the other day....feel so warm after the phone call....daddy messaged me ask me wen am i comin back....it makes me feel like i'm always still somebody in my home.....chat online wit my bro and sis sometimes....make my self update with their life........my sis find me for dinner yesterday night..... so happy.....welll daddy,mummy,jie,kor....i love u.....

Meaningless

2007-09-07T22:37:00.002-07:00

Life here seems meaningless. Its like stayin in a lil more comfortable jail. I woke up every day, looking at 4 walls....it just seems like the time aint moving.... being alone in the room...roommate aint with me....friends busyin with their stuff and their people.... my boy aint here wit me.... my family aint here wit me too.....make me feel as if the world is empty.... my daily routine....wake up,eat,study,eat,sit,online(thank god i still can online),study, sleep. i miss....HUMAN BEING...well.....i need someone to talk to....someone to play to....someone to just make me feel happy....someone to bring me back to the world

currently addicted to this song

2007-09-07T22:37:00.001-07:00

Title : My Heart
Artists : Irwansyah & Acha Septriasa

Disini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia kudenganmu

Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Disini surga kita

Bila kita mencintai yg lain
Mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
Sayang ku akan hilang
If u love somebody could we be this strong
I will fight to win our love will conquer all
Wouldn't risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart
My heart

our mtv......contaminated...leave me a comment bout it

2007-09-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

A Quote to think about

2007-08-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

"How well you know yourself before telling others they don't really know u well....."

This is a quote written at my bro's blog.....
It makes me think about my self and how do i want people to think about me as well.....
So i just thought to share with my friends..... think about urs....how well do u know about your self then?

You are my inspiration,by my bro

2007-08-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

“I would want to see u get married, I want to see my greatgrandchildren”…… those was the few last word I hear from my grandmother before she went into coma 2 years ago. She struggled 4 a gruesome 4 months in the battle with cancer before god took her to rest. It had been almost 2 years but those words still echo clearly in my mind. She is the inspiration of my life.

Yong Ah Lan. That was the name of this beautiful woman. Born in Melaka, 1926, she led a simple life. At 1946 she married my grandfather and was bless with 9 beautiful kids. Life was not really good for her as both of them, my grandfather and grandmother struggle to raise my dad and his siblings. But yet, they never neglect their responsibilities as parents. They provide the necessary for their kids and raised them to be successful people.

Grandma was a very smart woman. She learned a lot of things practically by herself. I still remember, there was one day, I came back from school and she was playing the piano,enjoying herself. I was mesmerized by the way she played the tune. I never knew she know how to play the piano. I asked her. She told me, when she was just a little girl…not more than 10 years old, she worked with a rich family as a maid. In that family, there was a little girl who plays the piano. Everyday she would listen to the girl play by working. On and off, the girl will teach my grandma little bit by little bit. But that was like 50-60 years ago…and she still can play it. What a magnificent woman.

Grandma was a very vain and fashionable woman. She did not let age defeat fashion even though she was reaching 80. Her hair is always well made and her face will never be without any makeup brightens and also covering wrinkles wherever it can. When she was very sick, she told my mum to buy her something nice. She says, “ I wanna look pretty when people visit me in my coffin” That was how vain she was. She often gives me opinion and also comments on the way I dressed. She is indeed a woman with great taste and flair.

She was also a very sociable person. No is a stranger to her. She can practically talk to anyone. She was well known in her society. She was active in the neighborhood council. She was also in a club doing social dance and traditional dance. On and off, she will travel with her friends to perform at other state. The number of friends that turned up during her funeral amazed me. There were so many people that it filled up the whole street. Her friends, came up to me crying because they were very sad and in the same time praising my grandma of how a great woman she was.

I guess if I still wanna count her merits, I might drag on till tomorrow. I still remember she has a great motto. Treat other good and good will be treated on you. I held on to this motto all the time.I admire her fighting spirit. Elevating from good to better. Her Great fighting spirit is kept in my soul as an inspiration to excel and to to better

You gave me strength and energy,

To see what others can’t see,

To be what others can be,

Your contribution to the community,

And also to the family,

This is what all has agree,

And will remember till eternity.

p/s : i love u and miss u so much grandma.....

Start to think about your life

2007-08-11T01:56:00.000-07:00

it was my birthday.........it should be my 20th birthday i guess.My family celebrate with me at my new house at sunway cheras and i've invited all my uni friends.The most touching moment was when my grandma took out the chocolate cake that she made........it was the most beautiful cake that have ever seen. The next thing i knew.......i'm at mellaca,my grandma house.Everyone looks sad....Then i ask my mom,"mummy,what is goin on?" and she replied " We are goin to burn grandma's body,the ceremony is going to start soon." Then i can feel the tears running down my cheek......Grandma is gone.....i saw grandpa sitting at the corner....cryin.... Mummy then call me....."JiaVern, u know ur day has come. Tomoro,after everything is done.....we'll do ur ceremony." I've forgot.......mom told me before..that i need to die....for some reason....but....i've never tought that it will be so fast..... Suddenly all the image pop out......my memories,the people i've meet and the things i've done.......
First thing that i think of....is the HIV's,my secondary school friens....we use to be really good friends....but then....we dont go on well, maybe because we are busy with different things in our life.....i regreted so much that i've never take the move to find them.....i missed those great time when we were together . Then i think of Lven....we've been together for such a short period...i cant afford to lose him now.....there is just too much things that we need to do together! there is just too much thing that we have not gone tru ......Next....its winnie ,rachie and Quek..... i really missed those time when we are together as best friend...things have change now....since winnie and quek were together.....i dint blame on anyone.....because that is just how things will change when the relationship between people have change.....for rachie....she is jus too good for me....as she is my current best friend.....i dont want to lose her yet! Then i remember my kai mui...the one i'm close wit...Jeling....i've haven seen her for so long.....There is so many things that i still need to do...all my friends....all my dream....all the things that i have always wanted to do......
I asked my mom.....can i have a week more... and my mom agreed.....so...now....i have a week more to live........think.....what will i do....if only i have a week more to live..... i dont want to regret .....because ....once a person is dead.....you can never change anything more in this life......

Then i woke up......it was a bad dream.....but.....it aint really just a dream....i cant stop thinkin about it.........i just cant stop cryin....
First of all....i miss my grandma and grandpa alot......as....when my grandma passed away....i regreted so many things......and that is when i realise once a person is dead.....you cant change anything.....u cant say i love u to her/him any more, u cant say i'm sorry,u cant do what ever things that u always wanted to do or the things that he/she always wanted you to do.......
Then i cant stop thinking.....what if.....i really only have a week time? what should i do? life is so fragile.....you dont really know what will happen the next minute....questions poping out in my mind...... Who do i want to meet? What do i need to do? Who is the person that i appreciated the most? What is the thing that i always wanted? Where do i always wanted to go? What else i need in my life? Who do i miss? Have i forgotten to tell i love you to anyone? My family? My friends? My sweetheart? I'm so scared......i really do....

I'm afraid of DEATH not because i'm afraid of pain....
I'm afraid of DEATH because i'm afraid of LOST and REGRET!

so.....for all my family,friends and Lven

i would wanna say....
i miss you,and i thank you all for being such great person in my life, i love you.....

p/s......this is for every single person that i have meet in my life.... all my friends and family

found my happiness

2007-06-30T22:04:00.001-07:00

HACKS baby

2007-06-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

Make your own t-shirt! Click here!

journey to the south by robbiedes and shio yee...

2007-05-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

Well, the selected few candidates who will head South are made out me (RobbieDes), Mark, Anthony, Lance, David and Jia Vern. With Winnie playing host in Johor Bahru and Khia Shing turning down an invitation, the 6 of us started our journey as early as 6 am in the morning. From Mark's house, that is in Putrajaya, we traveled for over 1000 kilometres in total vehicle distance. Our ride is no other than The Cherry Bird Van.

Our first stop was my hometown, Batu Pahat Johor. About 3 and a half hour drive from Mark’s place….

BATU PAHAT

1st writer : Quek Shio Yee
2^nd writer : RobbieDes
Photos by : RobbieDes, Mark, Shio Yee

Friendster members involved :

RobbieDes, Mark, Anthony, Lance, David, Jia Vern, Shio Yee, Caleb, Garnett, Calvin

SATURDAY 12 May 2007 – 1^st day

It was about 10.00 am. Rbd, Jayvern, David, Mark, Lance, and Ant reached here, home at BP. Mum was like crazy, she didn’t hear from Rbd about the early arrival. So, they arrived and after a short while everyone, including dad and I went to Fuji (a hawker center) to get some breakfast. I think it’s their first meal here in BP for the trip. Everyone ordered black pepper chicken chop and fried carrot cake. Mum arrived later (because she wanted to mop the floor first)

At home, we all checked out big bro, Shio Gai’s new interesting creation. His Fart Music. He recorded his own fart, many versions of farting. Then he kind of combined them into different variations, and also into two fart songs, one I dunno the name, the other is Long Long Ago. Everyone was flabbergasted. Kudos to Shio Gai. Period. Wokay, next, we checked out Rbd’s Canon In D Minor. To me, that was one freaking nice sad song he played. Good job. Then we checked out the Muar guy. Nice rapping, nice video, together with nice Cadbury chocolate hee.

Then we all went to the other house, No. 39 on the same street to visit Chow Chow! Yellow? Such an important thing. Chow Chow is our fat black dog. His kind is called Chow Chow so naturally we named him Chow Chow (Stinky). He is almost three years old now, and cuter than ever..

Rbd and Mark experimented on a trumpet. Then Ant failed to do so, merely producing windy sounds. But gradually he succeeded a bit.

While we were there relaxing, Rbd and Mark went to the house opposite ours to get a haircut. The results? Not much difference, unfortunately more girlish. Then we all decided to have dinner in Muar, a very, very, very good chance to meet someone very, very, very special for you-know-who. Ahem. Awwwww, pity, in the end dad suggested we go Segenting, somewhere near Minyak Beku, somewhere by the sea. The someone's sweet dreams ended.

So off we went, including my Dad, Mum and Shio Gai this time, by Mark’s van. A thirty minutes journey (maybe longer maybe shorter) to Segenting. Segenting is a fishing village, I think. There is a residential area very famous with the seafood, the Valentine’s Bridge for love birds, a place where you get to touch a type of super duper gigantic freshwater fish (Arapaima) to get some good luck (especially in 4D) and some beautiful temples with many statues and figurines.

After we arrived, we went to a seafood restaurant which is built with the shape of a prow, to let customers feel the ambience as if being on a ship. It was around 7.30 pm, alas, fully reserved. So dad reserved our table which is only available after 8.30 pm. Therefore, since we have some extra time, all of us except dad went to look at those super duper gigantic fishes. Everyone except Anthony touched it I think, Lance was the first! But although my hands are short like hell, I managed to touch one. I think everybody received their good luck that day. We noticed a beautiful sunset view there, so we took pictures to preserve that beauty. We also took some pictures with the statues and figurines.

The location we were at enabled us to get a good view at the Valentine’s Bridge. Then out of nowhere appeared a crazy dude on that bridge waving at us like crazy. Who would that guy be, but no other than my dad. So we went there to join him. The bridge is famous. A lot of people here in BP have heard about it. I was not aware of it at first, but Jayvern was a bit scared while we were on the bridge. We took some pictures there, at the end of the bridge, the only wooden part left since all the other front parts are rebuilt with concrete.

Dad suggested we go visit the home of some old friends of his. We had a good time there, getting to know how it really is to live there. After a chat and some drinks we finally went to the restaurant and this time we were seated. Dad took charge of ordering, of course. The main dish, no doubt, is the black pepper crab. Urgh seafood. The other dishes include two different kinds of prawn cuisine (urgh seafood), fried squid (wokay this is acceptable), veggies, sweet and sour fish, and something else I can’t recall, oh yes, some kind of oyster (Dua Tao “big heads”). I did not regret having that meal, because everybody found out about one very interesting thing. Ant does not know who the hell is Thomas Edison. Congratulations, Ant. A little surprise for all of us when suddenly everyone there stopped eating and stared at this particular table. We did the same, and there were this husband and wife verbally wrestling each other off. What’s cooler? Their children and parents were there too, witnessing. Ooops… After the meal we all went home.

During the night, The six of them went out to play snooker at J.J., one of the finest arena in Batu Pahat and met up with Garnet, Caleb, Calvin, Kai Sian, Han Li and many other Rbd’s friends. Lance and Jia Vern had a good time sleeping I guess since they do not play snooker. The others had real fun and Mark beat Garnet. Muahahaha….. After an hour or two of snooker, they came back again.

SUNDAY 13 May 2007 – 2^nd day

Now this is really early Sunday. At 1.00am, Rbd suddenly asked me what we should get for mum on Mother’s Day. Good question. He suggested something that we make by ourselves. I initially said to make a card. Too simple. So in the end we decided to do the unthinkable. To bake a Mother’s Day cake for mum. Us. Do that. It seemed like an impossible mission. It was so late, and we didn’t get the needed ingredients. Rbd, Jayvern and I found some cake recipes and thought for a while. The only cake that had the highest possibility to manage is plain and simple butter cake. Decision made. I checked, and we only have one freaking egg. We didn’t have any idea what to do about the cake decoration. We weren’t even sure if we could succeed.

Worries put aside, Rbd and Ant went out to find any 24-hour stores to buy some freaking eggs, and also get some take-away food to feed the hungry people. Meanwhile, Mark, Jayvern and I started to weigh and measure the ingredients. Milk, check. Flour, check. Sugar, check. Vanilla essence, thank goodness we have it, check. Eggs, left those important freaking eggs. We took the electric mixer into Shio Gai’s room, the furthest away from where mum was sleeping. Hopefully the sound will not wake her up.

While reading the recipe, we mix the ingredients. Big thanks to Mark and Jayvern, we managed to do everything quite nicely, in fact, perfectly. After a while Rbd and Ant finally came home. (Hold on a sec, where were David and Lance?). David was calling her baby Janice and Lance was playing a gay game called Diner Dash. So finally, some freaking eggs. Eventually the mixture is done. Big thanks to Rbd and Ant for those freaking eggs and take-away food. After a while David and Lance joined in.

While the batter is baking in the oven, the guys had no mercy for the Chivas Regal whisky on the tiny dining table. Rbd and Ant happened to get some Coke while they were out, so they had a good time enjoying Coke with whisky. Wait, don’t misunderstand. Mr. Ant here says no to alcoholism. Yeap, he is a certified teetotaler. Jayvern was still thinking what we should do about the cake decoration. Unfortunately, me the culprit finished all the chocolates that day including M&Ms. So I had to hunt for anything possible in the fridge. Now luckily, I grabbed a jar of Duo, hazelnut and chocolate bread spread. And luckily, it was two in one, two colours, white and brown. Rbd had an idea about the decoration, to use the white portion as the background and the choco one as the text.

Then at last the cake is done, and with some efforts by Rbd and Ant, the cake is placed on a plate, just the right square size. (Gosh, it took two guys to flip a cake). I first spread out the white cream then squeezed out words of Mother’s Day with the chocolate cream, um, sorry but I used Premium Double A printing paper hee. Halfway done, Rbd cut out beautiful heart-shaped Squiggles and also finely sliced Snickers bar. Thanks to Lance for the Squiggles and Snickers! Those were used for decorating too. Done! I know Rbd hasn’t paid yet…hehe.

And then, came the time I am needed to wake mum up. Time : Around 3.00 am. That was freaking early. No choice, in order to eat our freshly baked cake. So I woke her up and she saw two candles lit on the table. The cake was presented to her and she was, I am glad to say, surprised and happy. She blew out the candles, and was given a knife to pretend to cut the cake while we all took pictures of her. Then we finally got to get a taste of that, that cake. It was hands down delicious. (wokaaaay come on give some credit to beginners). She was then served with Coke and whisky, duh.

Then the celebration ended, and mum ended up watching TV, unable to fall back to sleep, and everybody else played cards. There is this card game called Narpo. (Supposed to be a card game from Nepal…then Mark pronounce it as Napole…and David spelled it as Narpo) This game is played by getting the smallest value you can, Aces being the smallest in value. I don’t know what the hell is with Lance, but he happened to win, especially beating Mark via Tiang “hitting the post” many freaking times, mostly with Aces. Pictures of Lance holding Aces are taken, together with some of Mark’s pallid expression. At around 7.00am everybody went to sleep. I forgot what time we woke up, but David was the first one I spotted in the living room I think. I really don’t remember what we had for breakfast, oh yeah, because we woke up in the afternoon I guess. The breakfast skipping caused Rbd to plan for another day in BP as one and a half day just doesn’t seem enough for him :S

We all went to grab a bite at a Nasi Bariani/Baryani/Beryani restaurant near Wira Court, Taman Bukit Pasir. (The third Beryani that Mark had tried in Batu Pahat after the famous one in Perserai and Beryani Power in Soga)We needed to wait for a long time because the rice was not ready. After Ant’s repetitive persuasion and requests, Rbd finally agree to organize a futsal game which brought in Caleb, Garnett and Han Li once again. Wokay. David didn’t bring his pants, Mark didn’t bring his yellow T-shirt, Jayvern needed shoes, I needed to change. So Rbd, Ant, Jayvern and I headed home while the others waited there, on the way Rbd and Ant went to book a court. When we went back to the restaurant, finally we were served.

While we were finishing out meal, Garnett (stuck with this name after using it as a nickname in Counter Strike), and Caleb and Han Li came to join us. Everybody went to the one and only futsal court in BP. We had a brief warm up, mainly passing the freaking ball from one to another. Then we started playing, 5 on 5. One female for each team. David, Mark, Ant, Garnett and I were a team, and the other team was Rbd, Lance, Caleb, Han Li, and Jayvern. Garnett and Lance are the goalkeepers. I think Jayvern’s team won the match. The guys did not play too hard and gave chances due to the existence of two females. It was a great game though, I enjoyed it, and I sweated like hell. I scored 4! hehe….We all had a drink after that, Caleb, Garnett, and Han Li headed to somewhere else and everybody else headed home to get ready for dinner.

We all took a bath, I didn’t really want to. Anyway, we went to um…. Lorong Sate in Parit Raja (30 minutes drive) to eat duh satay. Pictures taken. Anthony won the Kejohanan Fatass here after Mark admitted defeat and handed him the title.

We had a great meal there. The satay was incredible. Then we headed home. Alas for me, the next day which was Monday, was my exam for Biology Paper 3. I didn’t join much of their activities after that.

MONDAY 14 May 2007 – 3^rd day

The guys continued the Narpo Midnight tournament wanting to cut Lance from his winning streak. It was kind of a balance game on the second day with a very special element. PRANK! Mark was the director of this prank suddenly thought up as Ant went to take a poo poo. Mr. Ant The Great was fooled. Here’s what. We arranged the cards with will be distributed with him holding 8 as soon as distributed, allowing a Tian Hu “staright win”. As for Lance, we gave him 7 which will cause a Tiang that will cause Ant to pay for all expenses. When he went back to join them in the game, he was typing an sms on the phone and Rbd immediately signaled Mark to hand out the cards. As soon as he picked up his set of fixed cards, he realized that his own set of cards consisted of three cards with the value of 2 and two Aces. Normally, that was a freaking small value, considering it was the start of the game. He was so happy, he was stunned, his lines were “ Everyone stop! One dollar from each of you! FIRST TIME IN NARPO HISTPRY! TIAN HU!!!!” and he even asked for a photo shoot. What he didn’t know was, Lance (a freaking good actor by the way) was holding four Aces and a 2, smaller than his. Our laughter couldn’t hide that fact that it was a prank. After knowing so he remained silent until the others finish laughing their lungs out of him.

Too bad I did not witness the situation live, but I can pretty much picture the change in Ant’s expression after he saw Lance’s freaking cards hee hee. I was reading biology, and suddenly there was a loud outburst, needless to say, everyone was laughing like crazy.

An early agreement states that we must sleep at 2am. Unfortunately, Anthony and Lance collaborated to produce a Fart orchestra lasting for over 2 hours. Guess its because of the raw onions eaten at the satay stall. And the main point is….it stinks! In a small air-conditioned room, its almost impossible to breath and each fart ended up with laughter and anger. With Mark later joining the Fart orchestra, everyone eventually got back to sitting positions and gave up on trying to sleep.

At 5.30 am, Rbd and the boys thought of not sleeping as it will make them miss another morning meal. Therefore, in order to kill time, A game called Mis-Call-Mis-Call-TIANG! was invented. Here’s the rules. Each of the boys call a selected target and hold for two dial tones and hang up. The person whose call is picked up by the target loses. After each round, three dial tones are increased meaning first round 2 dial tones, 2^nd round 5 dial tones and so on. Since it was early in the freakin’ mornin’ most of the targets did not picked up the calls. But of course, with such a long contact list the boys find it fun to disturb their friends and even… not so good friends at the later challenge. The champion was Rbd, receiving three TIANGs from Ah Wing, Sherlyn, and the Call of Death, AH BI! With the rest of them receiving one each. Jia Shern to Anthony, Justin to David and Pow Ping to Lance. Where’s Lance. Sorry to say, phone out of battery = disqualified! But laughter is always shared and we made through the night ending up laughing at each other.

I woke up in the morning, about 6.00am or so. I think I saw a few of them in the living room already, I think I saw David again. (Hell? Does he even sleep? At all?) I got ready and wore my school uniform. Hilarious. I’ll leave out the following part and continue from after I went back home from school. Yeah they had a good time laughing at me.

I was at school is when they went to eat Tiung Ah Si Wantan Mee. That’s all I know of (Actually they went back and slept like dead pigs). After school, to my relief (without being asked to bathe), we all went to eat the famous beef ball noodles aka Hakka Mee. Then, Garnett, Caleb, and Ah Leng came to join us. When we were about to go, Lance wanted to shit, but hesitated. (Sorry, but I was asked to do this IN DETAIL). In the end his heart and mind lost to his rectum hee.

Rbd and Mark, due to the improper trim of their hair, decided to get a haircut one more time, this time at another house, by a skilled hairdresser. And in detail, I will not leave out the part when we passed by a coconut stall, Lance said Air KEPALA Muda hee. Rbd was the first to get a haircut. His took the longest time. But it was worth it, he looked much, much better. After him was Garnett. Sorry to say, I don’t see much of a difference.

Then the climax was Mark Cool Van Gawd’s haircut. Without much consideration, even before he took a seat, he asked for a grade 4 shave. His hair before that was long, for a guy. Upon seeing his hair being shaved, and seeing the final results, we were all yet again, flabbergasted. He was COOL DESNO~!

We went to BP Mall after that. Not much really, although it is gargantuan for us BP people, there was not much of anything to it. We went into the Nike and Adidas stores, and took a tour a few floors up. David and Mark bought Liverpool FC and Chelsea FC poker cards, and I think that’s pretty much the only meaningful thing we did in BP mall. Oh wait, one more meaningful thing was the photo we took near the lift on the car park level. I'm the one at the bottom.

We went to Al-Ikhsan, the store they love, because of its large stock and everything. There, they took some time deciding which shirt they should get for their futsal team. Lance was deciding which goalie shirt he should choose to go with everyone else’s shirts. Then we went home. At home, Jayvern and I took many, um, silly photos. Anyway this time, our dinner was somewhere twenty minutes or more from home down to Senggarang. It was the nicest Sup Kambing. After that dad brought us to another place to eat sup daging and sup tulang. I can figure out what our pee would smell like after that, seriously. After dinner we went straight to No.39 and played with Chow Chow. We spend some time there, and took the last group photo of their trip in BP, I think.

TUESDAY 15 May 2007 – 4^th day

Then they carried on with the Narpo Midnight tournament. Thank goodness for me, the next day was only English papers. So I was able to join them and watch them play. They all agreed to stop at 12.00am midnight. At first, David and Lance voted out of the game. But in the end, they all joined back in and the game lasted till 1.00am. I went to sleep after that. Lance did not sleep, and played Diner Dash till daybreak, ladies and gentlemen. Rbd, Ant and David sneaked out at about 3am for a late supper leaving Mark, the driver, sleeping well in the room.

Again, I woke up at 6.00am or so. Got ready, wore my, ahem, uniform. (yea yea laugh away). I helped David a bit in playing the gu zheng for a while (a freaking fast learner yo!) “Rbd disagrees”, and finally bid them all farewell before going to school. That was the end for me (sniff).

They had their breakfast at the very famous economical noodle stall Mee Siam Loh at Tmn Batu Pahat before proceeding to the next trip. At the same time, DVD sellers aere spotted and they had a nice time choosing from large selection of cheap DVDs. The journey doesn’t end as the Cherry Bird Van was driven away from Batu Pahat…

Catch Journey to the South Part. 2 on the next post.

TO BE CONTINUED…

3 things in life

2007-05-06T07:07:00.000-07:00

3 things in life,once gone never come back
~words , opportunity , time

3 things in life are never sure
~dream , success , fortune

3 things in life that make you a great person
~hard work , sincere , success

3 things in life are most valuable
~love , self respect , time

3 things in life must not be lost
~peace , hope, honesty

3 things in life that destroy a person
~greed , pride , anger

something to express how i feel on a few certain people....

2007-05-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

you told me once ,
you told me twice,
you say u do,
u say u will.
but yet.....
words....
are always not the truth....

no i don't,
no i won't,
i will not,
and i shall not,

it's not your fault,
it's not my fault,
words are to be blame,
promises are meant to be broken

the old did the same,
the new did the same,
the first did that,
will the last remain the same?

the past
that has past,
the new?
you have found.

i might be disappointed,
but i wont be sad,
as you have found
the best for you.

the road are the same,
it's always the same,
i've walked the same,
i've meet the same.

but the same aint the same anymore,
the feelings wont be the same,
the thinking wont be the same,
the things i see wont be the same.

i'll be brave,
i'll stand up,
i'll walk through,
all the obstacle!

it might be a sad end,
it might be a happy ending,
but you'll never know,
if you do not try.

one has go,
one has come,
there you go ,
here they come.

you show talent
you show ur best
the best in you
that i will choose.

i might choose,
i might not,
it depends,
on what you do

at least i do,
i do feel happy,
i know i have choose,
but i still doubt my choice

thank you my friend,
thank you for all you have done,
i might not be yours
but i'll always be there for you.

fart.....

2007-04-26T03:05:00.000-07:00

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent but deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must not forget.......
Sweet old farts like me and you!

sick

2007-04-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

i feel so sick the few days......gastric haunt me back gain.....vomited for 3 days....evrytime after i ate..... i wish my parents were here....cause if they do......at least someone will care about me..... bring me my medicine tat i use to eat when i had my gastrik...... buy me my fav food and drink.....my fridge will be sure full wit vitagen and fruits and vege...... but......they are at aus......sis are there too... bro at hk.....feel so lonely here.....haih i wonder if i die here at hostel.....too stress bout my exam...... do any 1 knows? mayb my parents do.....wen they come back to kl la.......aih.....
tomro .....i'll have my mass media and society exam......i totally give up on that......i have no mood to study tat subject....welll......studied whole day.....doesnt seem to understand a thing......1st time in my life.....bah!~ perhaps because i dun like the subject that is y nothing seems to be entering my pea brain......
currently dun feel good either......headache,gastric,feel like vomitin again..... i think its because i haven eaten the whole day...... woke up at 1030am but took my 1st meal at 8pm......nah dun blame me......somethings on my mind tat make me not in the mood to eat....... bah~ wat eva.....feel so sick now.....aih~ do anyone care......wht eva .....i dun wan anyone to care also....... gonna off to bed soon.....nitez

i wonder wat is on my mind

2007-04-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

erm.....i wonder what is on my mind..... all of a sudden....i dun feel like walkin at any of the roads...... maybe i'm tired? am i bored? or.....perhaps.....i dare not to try any more......... erm.... scared...... i duno.....maybe my expectation is too high.....i'm waiting for a road which is perfect,but yet i know,no road is perfect in this world.......maybe.... i'm to scare to get disappointed again.....the road that i have walked before this is too dark.....full with creepy creatures.....too scary.......i dun wanna trust my instinct anymore.........it just does'nt turn out right everytime........ could anyone change my mind and the way i think now?

flowers and butterfly

2007-04-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

i remember....the other day.....i walk by the road....i saw the lil flower there......it seems so lonely alone there....no others flower beside it......but yet....it's still so beautiful....i actually wanted to pluck it down....but.....dint do so....cause if i did,i would have end its life......and if i do.....i would not have the chance to see such a scene........ i walk past the road again....and i notice.....there are a bunch of butterfly flying beside the flower...it looks so beautiful.....but yet.....its still too much of them.....i would have prefer if there is only one butterfly beside the flower.....aint it look sweet? but....why? why does all the butterfly flies at the same time? do they have season or somekinda thing that i dont know? it seem weird...... cant they like come one by one......i doubt the flower could handle so much butterfly.....haha mayb the flower would die......cause too many butterfly are resting on its leaf....haha.....if that happens.....hahha really GG......it is funny.......but.....haha dont think the flower had any choice.....takkan the flower wanna speak out say hoi.....leave me alone....no right.....haha...if the flower do so.....wa......'hak sei ngo lo' hahahha.......i'll go back to the road again soon.....wanna see....whether there are still butterfly there anot.....haha......sweet butterfly

roads.....

2007-04-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

all the way.....i thought things are going the way it should be.......the road should be straight......the things that your saw along the road should be something that u expected to see...... it should be similar.....and that is why u could guess what will you see the next minute......but well....sometimes......unexpected things happened.....things that you thought it should be straight aint straight anymore.....thing that you thought u have been expected at the end of the straight road ain't appearing........instead.........when you just about to think that you are reaching the end of the road..... you are wrong....it aint the end yet......because.....you realise that you are just stoping at a junction.....a junction where you have to choose which road to continue your journey......you have no choice .......it should be road 1 o road 2.......there is no turning back.......there are no u-turn in life......time will not go backwards....... so choose? you were telling me that u wanted road 1..... you where planning road 1 so good.......the road was smooth.... perhaps you have drop to a lil hole back there......but things are goin fine after that.......it seems nice......it seems like there is a beautiful scenery at the end of the road.......but.......are those true? or is that just an imagination? are you sure with what you have choosen? perhaps yes.....you do think it is true.....but until u saw road 2.....infact.....you have known road 2 first....more to say you suppose to choose road 2.....but......road 2 is hidden behind those bushes.....alot things has blocked your view from the road 2......you have forgotten that you actually choosed road 2 at the beginning........ because you are too happy walking on the road 1......you did not notice other things that you saw all the way.......until.....u met road 2 again....... now.....what do you want? road 2 seems to be opening the road which it has blocked at first...... infact.....it seems to be putting red carpet for you.......it seem to be an attactive road...... but.....sometimes.....you have to control...... and all in sudden.......roads are getting more and more......till that time.....which road will you choose then? you told me that u wanted another road.....but now it seems that your heart has choosen another road......or izit better not to walk to any of the road...... well.....or do you want to walk tru all the road?......and then to the end.....think back......which road suits you the best............. i have no idea......roads.......are getting complicated........ the road that has been abandon are sure gonna be lonely,silent road.......

alone in d room....

2007-04-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

sitting alone in the room......my roommate went back home already...... was suppose to go to play basketball with the bunch of kiddo just now.....but decide not to go after winn ask me to study.....kinda guilty actually,because i went out to play instead of studying......so .....i decided not to go out and stay in room and study......welll of course, i did not studied...cause if i do....i wont be here ,blogging... i dont know how to explain how do i feel right now....but what i can say is....i have no mood for this semester....it's a totally fuckup semester.....alot stuff happened.....exam sucks....assigment sucks....well....its kinda weird.....because right now....what i want is just to pass all my exam instead of getting flying colours......aih...disappointed.....just let this fuckup semester end....i'll make sure i change and do my best in the next semester......

erm....well as usual....when u are free....u'll be starting to think of "things"........haih....talkin bout relationship.....well.....haih.....how to do i start? things.....never go right for me.....but at least .....i'm happy tat i've totally end with the pass one........the one that i've been suffering before this.....yeah...i'm glad i've get over that....... haih....about that one? i really kinda tired with him.....as i say.....if he thinks there is another girl out there which can make him happy....welll go for it man! i'm not ur type of girl ......talkin about the current one.....i've been doubting about my choice..... we haven really started any relationship.....but ...... tears has been given out.... well...its not really all his fault.....maybe....i've been too sensitive or to say....too worried or care about him....afterall i'm not even his anyone to be controling him to not to do something......i've been thinkin.....is he really my type of guy? well.... time to will give me the answer......

wakie wakie~ its morning~

2007-04-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

woke up for errr a few minutes by winnie's message.....she was tryin to wakae me up.....wakie wakie wake up to go to toilet shu shu~ pkmlpt~ she was tryin to be melvin which kacau me yst early in the morning.......well fine.....luckly she send me a msg not by callin me up......so since i'm like super tired...haha i get to die back.......so i was dyin till around 12pm only decided to wake up......actually i suppose to wake up at 8am to study....which is the time that i set for my alarm clock in my hp......crap....i woke up......off it....and continue in my dream land....haha.....i dream about alot weird things.....welll think back.....erm i dream about i'm going to langkawi....meet a japanese women and a lil girl....saw a cute guy......goin on a vacation with my family.....hehe.....i think i miss my family too much huh?......well that's about my dream.....so as usual.....i wake up...on my lap top......brush my teeth....wash my face.....went to make a milo for my self.....and sit infront of e lap top.... looking tru some webside.....
aih~ its weird ....everytime i read that particular page....i'll be sad o more to say guilty.....after the case.......it seems like our relationship has become ............... well i dont really know how to discribe it.....u know i know.....getting to know that u have found a new happiness....i'm happy yet kinda dissapointed..... well for sure.....because i know that i cant give anything and get to know tht someone else might give u what u wanted will make u happy,i do feel the happiness for u too...well in addition,i'm not even your anyone...but on the other hand.....it actually prove that....my statement is true.....there are no such thing as i'll wait for you..... no its not u ,......but i have known this long time ago..... my pass few has proven to me....and my stupidity of wasting few years has woke me up....realising....the world is not that simple..... well.....if u ask me what i want? my answer will still be the same.....i dont know! and i'm a simple girl......if i'm not confirm with my feelings toward you.......i will not waste ur time.....and i dun wan you to waste ur time too.....because i aint promising nothing..... promises are always make to be broken.....and that is the truth..... well.....i dont wanna ask you to do anything..... you just do what u think u your self want and what will give you happiness and the thing that u always wanted..... no matter what...... we will still be friens......i'll try my best to be with ya when ever u need me....perhaps.....from the beginning it would be better if we are good friends all the way...

sweet memorable day with e dudes~

2007-04-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

erm.....think back......when did i first get to know u guys........ it was under an unexpected party which i am not really suppose to be there......you see.....it was like my friends friends birthday party.....its second degree friends.....and imagine....i'm like the stranger there....dont really know any one of you.....well......let me recall back my first impression towards you guys......erm.....start with melvin....hehe....he's d first one i know among the gengs....... well....about him? he's winnie's baby.....erm looks like a kiddo for me....hehe.....hot tempered....sweet guy.... and a guy who will talk nonsense when he get drunk.....haha.....and kissed javen on his birthday......keh keh,......never forget that moment huh? well and for now....unexpectedly......he is my bro.....my a kor....haha....i force him to be my bro even thought he is younger then me.....keh keh..... bluek xP........next one i think i know is javen.....the fella that has the same name with me......hehe.....he might look cool sitting there silent.....or might turn crazy talking nonsense and acting crazy.....hehe.....funny and yet cool guy~ then it should be edward.....the sweet guy who sit beside me.....helping me to bbq my chicken wing.....hehe......he dont talk much......lookin blur all the time....haha....his blur look is just soo cute.....keh keh.....and the one that offer me tisu after i get buli by the twins....hehe...yeah....the twins.....zhi kai n zhi zhong......the 1st day i get to know them.....i dont really know that there was actually 2 different people....hahah i tought all the way its just the same person.....haha......only then i know how to defferentiate them......both of them....keep on 'kacau'ing' me.......one thing about them.....both of them talk super fast......haha......but yeah....talkertive like me.....they are really comfortable to be with...... lastly should be wei chong....hehe......on melvin birthday party we dont really know each other....all i know about him the 1st day is.........erm....not bad....cute guy....looked quite lala......smoke alot......still bbq'ing even after everyone else stop....haha.......that's all.....but after that....we get to know each other more......change my first impression towards him.....hehe.....get to know him alot more and discover something that quite impressed me about him....

that's about the 1st time........ well we went of a few times after that.....getting closer to each other...

but.....yesterday.....it was a sweet and memorable day.....since they are leaving soon.....we had dinner together at mc......then supper at murni.....then we went to play basketball.....hehhe my 1st time playing basketball.....hehe it was a fun game....hope to play again next time..... it was fun playin with them....haha.....our team won~ wohooo~ javen,wei chong, z chong and me~ keh keh we won ~winn,mel,z.kai and edward....hehe........ then we went to the playground play a while .......running here and there with winnie......hehe then we went to cc......hehe..... it was also my 1st time to go into a cc.....1st time playing at e cc.....erm......hehe....tat was it......the basketball time were the best....... it was fun spending time with u guy....haha mayb i'm kinda kiddo too...hehe......

its gonna be final exam in a week time.....then all of them are leaving here.....melvin's goin back to mellaca,the twins are goin to sg long.....javen n edward to setapak.....left wei chong here.....dun think will have alot chance to even chill out together in a group......haih~ all of them are really sad.......that is for sure....because i.......just know them for few month also do feel sad that all of them are leaving here.......i'm gonna miss them alot......alot..... wish ya guys all the best in ur exams....all the best in ur life~ and everysingle thing tat u do.........miss ya guys~

A story that i will never forget......

2007-04-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month, at Shah Alam. Her name is Priya, she was hit by a lorry.

I don't want to mention the name of the college. She had a boyfriend names Shankar. He lives in Johore. Both of them are true lovers. They are always on the phone with each other. You can never see her without her handphone.

She spends all time of the day talking with Shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family (just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone'. She also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin. I was there ~ a lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't , everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result was still the same.

Eventually, they called their neighbour, a 'bomoh' from Thailand (pak Darin), who is a friend of her father's. He took a seat and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here'. Then her friends told Darin bout her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone, together with the SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could now be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (can you feel the fear? I'm shaking at this moment.)

Priya's parents didn't inform Shankar that Priya had passed away (pity Shankar). After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.

Shankar: 'Atte, I'm coming home today. Please cook something nice for me. Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today; I want to surprise her.'

Her mother replied, 'You come home first, I want to tell you something very important.'

After he arrived at Shah Alam, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thought that they were fooling around. He was laughing and said, 'Don't try to fool me ... tell Priya to come out ... I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense.'

Then they show him the Priya's death certificate; they gave him proof to make him believe.

Shankar started to sweat profusely. He said, 'It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.'

Shankar was shaking so badly when suddenly, his phone rang.

'See this is from Priya. See this .....' he showed the phone to Priya's family. All of them told him to answer. He used the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard this conversation, loud and clear. No cross lines, no humming. It was Priya's voice! And there was no way others could use her SIM card as it was nailed inside the coffin! They were so shocked and asked for pak Darin's help.

Pak Darin brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve this matter. He and pak Darin worked for 5 hours ... then they discovered one thing .....
DiGi. Best coverage ever, ONE LOW FLAT RATE~!!!!!!! Anyone, any network, anytime, ANYWHERE!!!*

' I WILL FOLLOW YOU... FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU MAY GO... '

p/s: chill...i know u might be super 'char tou'.....cause i also kena tipu....hahaa....share e joke wit u guys mar~ digi always the smartest choice~

18 rules for a succesful life~

2007-04-15T20:51:00.000-07:00

1. Pursue achievable goals
2. Keep a genuine smile xD
3. Share with others
4. Maintain a youthful spirit
5. Get along with the rich,the poor, the beautiful and the ugly
6. Keep cool under pressure
7. Lighten the atmosphere with humor~
8. Forgive the annoyance of others
9. Have a few pals
10. Cooperate and reap greater rewards
11. Treasure every moment with your loved ones
12. Have high confidence in your self
13. Respect the disadvantaged
14. Indulge yourself occasionally
15. Suft the net at leisure
16. Take calculated risks
17. Understand "money isn't everything" but " money is something"

most important of all~
18. Remember that Jia Vern is always right,if u found out that she is wrong, slap ur self and read the rule no.18 again......

erm.....a boring 1

2007-04-14T00:33:00.001-07:00

bah~ what am i doin here? online? blogging?i am suppose to be studying! and what the hell am i doing here? exam is in a week time......i have no idea what will happen....as the post before this which is about the equation of the day.....yups...that is what i've been doing..... i hav no mood to study at all......bah~ what happen to me?i always dont have mood to study.....arg......sucks..... hav lotsa things to think about.....mainly is because of that case.....i'm not satisfied with what has happen and the feedback that i've get with what i have done..... maybe i'm not the best....but i think i'm at least better then alot of them..... i;m just too disappointed on my self..... i've too high expectation on my self....too high .....somtimes i even wanted my self to do something that is impossible for me to do or get.....haih~ life is unfair....

equation for the day~

2007-04-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

equation for d day.......can be consider as the quote of the day

exam ≠ study ,

exam = {eat (⅔mcD + ⅓Maggi) + sleep [(night + afternoon + morning) x (nap³ + nightsleepin + pretendin²)] + stress (√24.7) + 90% Online + sick (3 in 1) + sad(!??! Unknown) + lazy(undeleted virus) } - study

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-04-11T01:59:00.001-07:00

cinderella life sucks

2007-04-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

haiz....i use to b cinderella all de time....u know....cant go out at night ...have to be back home before 12am......even its on my birthday...but still i have to be back before 12am.....aih...but after the case that happen to my 'jiran'.....where he got slash at the bus stop infront of my house....my mom got even more strict......well i know....she cared about me....and that is the reason why she is so strict.....but stilll.....that sucks.....last thurs i went out to celebrate pui yee birthday after my dance class.....i told my mom about it....but still....she called me at 1030pm!~ ask me to go back! shall i repeat? its 1030pM! and that is even worst then cinderella ok! at least she can stay until 12am........ aih~ sucks......wellll i suppose to go for the speedzone party today....which i actually wanted to go so much.....but ended up....i dun really have the mood to go anymore.....mainly because i'm back home and i know i cant go out late....it is a 100% NO to go out nite for a party to my mom.......so even thought weisein told me that we got the ticket for me ....still i have no mood....i'm lazy to find reason for my mom....or cheating her to go out...i'm just not into that....well ....so ....i decided not to go......i was workin in my mom shop today...helping her around.....then pui yee called me....asked me if i wanna go sing K...... then i ask my mom.....she scolded me...she say....what time izit now? u still wanna go out? NO! ....but its only 8pm......on the other hand my dad was helpin me around....he ask my mom to let me go.....then my mom say yes but she say i must come back b4 12am........aih~ sing k at nite sure until 1 o 2 am ge la.......wat else can i say.....i asked pui yee if we could come back before 12am then i'll go....since she say yes ....then ok lo.....well things are not goin as it was planned.....i tot we are suppose to sing at leisure mall...but we ended up at sgwang......i tot we are jus goin to sing K ....but it was actually to celebrate someone birthday......so ended up i was there until 130am.....and my mom got so pissed and she called me like duno how many time......bah~ this kinda life really sucks.....while on the way home she still called me asking me what the hell am i doin not comin back...on the other hand my sister msged me asking me to go back and my mom was so mad.......bah~~~~ i know i'm wrong ....i know i should be back early.....i promised her....i'm not wrinting this blog to scold or even blame my mom for all this thing.....i'm just saying....cinderella life sucks~~~~~ when can i get my freedom?

muahaha

2007-03-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

opppss....sorryy for d previous post..... a lil rude ....so i decide to delete it.....haha....sorry ya....i'm too pissed off tat time....hehe

no one understand

2007-03-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

no one understand me......even me my self dont understnad me....i really dunno what to do,or how to handle things....
after reading ur msg and blog....i feel even more depressed and emo.....i feel like i'm somekinda jerk that hurt peoples feelin..... am i? ok i suck....now i dont even nkow how to face you o talk to u......the more sad and heart broken u are the more stress i feelll...even tho i know the only thing that u are sad about its not just me,......... fuck up.....i hate this feeling..... to tell the truth...i wanted to run away from this problem......because i dont want to face it and i do not know how to face.....fuck up.....stresss...... depressed.....

emo freak

2007-03-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

well.....i'm farkin emo,moodless,stress right now.....as u can see....my post before this cant be seen again.....and i'm freakin pissed off because i took quite a long time to write that and it is a freakin long post.....ok fine.....i think i need to at least write a summary for my previous post....but its not as full content as it is originally.....because i can never write back the same thing as the feeling is different now....
you see....things actually gone quite well for me these days....as i have handle things quite right these days....if this case did not happenned i think i will hav stress free situation right now....but....shit happens....it started when he call me on last wednesday and broke down to me.....i feel my self acting so stupid because i do not know what to do that time....as,i do not know how to console someone,i'm scare to face people who cry infront of me,and most importantly i do not know how to handle ...or better to say...i'm scare to handle things which is related to DEATH.... when he called me and cried...telling me the news that his ex's passed away in an accident.....i was StUND.....i dont really know how to react...i dont really know what to say...... as the most sensitive thing for me is "DEATH".... when he told me about the news.....i really do not know what to say....i was stress.... stress about the DEATH that once again haunt me.....not to say that i'm very close with his ex or what....but at least it is someone that i know of its existence.... you see,i'm too sensitive of this "DEATH" thing.sensitive enough to be stress about the news of death of someone which is a complete stangers to me.i don not know whether there is anyone who will understand how i feel....but things had happen to me.....i get this feeling of fear after the death of my close one's and friens...... i'm scare especially to get to know about those sudden death news......so at that moment, not only that i'm stress about the death thing my self....i'm also stress that i my self have no idea how to make him feel better or at least stop him from cryin......i'm really blank....i dont know what to do....i dont know what to talk....i dont know how to react .....and even worst.....i actually think's that i shoudnt really do anything or say anything to stop him from crying or to be sad or even forget what had happen.....because i have been into his shoe before.....i know how he feel.....not that any of my ex has passed away or what...but i feel the same when my close one's and my friends past away........and for that time i'm sure no one can cure my sadness no matter what happenned....because till today.....after my grandma passed away almost 2 years....and for my grandpa that just passed away few months before......i'm still sad......i still regreted on thing that i have not done,and i know i will never have the chance to do it anymore......all this feeling of sadness...all the cryin canot be cure no matter how many consoling words that has been spoken out to me....all i need and has helped me is only the TIME....as time would be able to fade away the sadness and tears in my eyes....and so..... i thought it would be the same for him....because i really do not know how to ask him not to be sad....as i know there is no way he could stop him self doin that ...as i my self still cant stop my self doin it until today....and that is why DEATH is my biggest fear....Next......what i've been guilty for was my decision on making things clear btw me and him.....i know at this moment i shouldnt really rejected him.... i know he is really sad and lonely this time....but i really want to stop things so that he wont fall to deep on me and later on being hurt even worst at the end... i'm sure every girl wanted to be pampered,cared and to be loved....so am i....i cant be so selfish....i wont be....i know i might be losing a person that does that for me when i rejected you....but still, i choosed to do so because i'm sure with my decision and i want things to stop now before u fall too deep.....but....as i know that things aint getting right for you and your are still in the super sad situation i feel so guilty.... but no matter how.....i hope it is a better choice for both me and you.....As this death thing has been said out once again....it brings back all my memory about the passed lost.....and also my future fear....the fear of losing anyone anymore.....the thing that i will be emo'ing at least for the next few future days.....haih~ anyhow....i hope things will turn out right.....

stress is back

2007-03-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

life aint perfect.....

2007-03-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

everyone has their own problem........ life aint perfect..... problems for me? i think it has becoming lesser and lesser....or perhaps....i'm just avoiding it....its not a bad thing to avoid it also .....sometimes ....something its better to be forgotten..... but no matter how....sometimes these day i will feel sad or emo all in sudden....but i myself dont really know the reason behide it.... But as time goes by.....i start to think better...reading tru other people's blog....listening to other people's problem, learning to know that someone perhaps has even worst situation,knowing some fact or the reason of why things happen....well....every single person in this world might have just have the same problem as i'm....dont think that i'm the only person that is stress about the problem i'm facing.....
So these day....tryin to make my self busy......tryin to do things...giving my self sometime to do things that i wanted to do.....getting to know more friends....well...perhaps..by then i'll be more happy .......

bloody blog

2007-03-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

i duno what is the problem......a few post before this cant be read and has vanished in air just like that....the only thing that can be posted out its the title...... so pissed offf......fine.....just let the few post b4 tis remain to be unknown...... i hope nothing will happen to my blog anymore after tis

erm...weird unknown problem

2007-03-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

great day~

2007-03-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

happy happy happy day~

2007-03-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

calling jay vern to be back

2007-03-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

fuckup life..... i wish i'm not here...... things aint getting better....i tot the ktar time was the worst condition eva i had in my life.....i'm was wrong, this is even worst.....
haih....but no matter wat, things had happen ,nothing will change , i need to accept the fact....
i dont want anything to cause my frienship and studies to be bad....... had enough of all this fuckup shit.......
ok ...ok.....back to the normal jay vern.....muahahhaha.....i love jay....and jay love me.....aiseh..... for sure....why did i even forget that all the way there is a guy loving me so much? sorry jay.....i still love u no matter how.....muahahaha
no matter wat will happen in the future.....i think....i hav choose the right way...... there is a dot between me n u.......and only friendship left btw all of us.....and i hope all of us do appreciate this frienship cause i do.....i do want to keep on frienship till as long as possible..... i'm desperate for love or what eva shit it is........cause......tat's not the most important thing for me.....friens are more important......
ok, put down everything......back to the crazy happy jay vern......muahahha........stop emo'ing dude! chill....life is short......u do not know what will happen in the next minute.....perhaps death will call u and by then.....its too late for you to regret on what u have done or what u have not done..... appreaciate every single person in ur life..... thank god for every minute that u have spend....i learn to appreaciate thing better because i have tried how the word DEATH took away people beside me......... the sudden lost.....where you can do nothing to change.....its scary.......so......be positive,be happy and walk tru ur life till the end of the road ....

trying hard to delete it....

2007-03-07T02:40:00.000-08:00

well...i think i'm doing quite fine....at least.... i dont mind u guys to be together....and at times....when i look at u....there are anger and sometimes i feel that i hate ya so much.......dissappoint me too much....perhaps from d start....i'm actually a nothing....just a 'pelampung'...and i ,stupid enough to actually let you play with my feeling....but.....no one to be blame.... i'm d one that is trying to find someone to cure my heart.....its over anyway.....i have no hope on ya anymore...... nah....i dont want you......its so clear on my mind...i dont want you...but still i cant cheat my self that i still have feelings on ya.....but everything need time to be forgoten.... at least its a good start.... even tho its hard for me.....struggling so hard....but actually thank you u also....u did alot of things to help me kill ur place in my heart...... realizing that i'm just a nothing and someone else has a better place in u....well .... i'm ok if u guys were together.... at least u like her, she like u....but just dont hope that u still stay at the same position...waiting things to be done by it own and keep blaming things tat happened.....

anyway....tryin to forget..... nah u hav no more place in my heart.....and after tis case.....i'm realy disappointed.....i dont wanna try any more relationship.....not in d near future time...dare not..... too tired for any thing.....

someone asked me that day......what do u wish to do now? i answer i wanna go away from this place , run away from all these problem,studies,people,society and stress......i wanna go on travelling.....go backpack travel all around the word....without any worries,problems,sadness, burden, hard feelings,madness,stress, or any thing....... i wish i could do that some day....... go out on my own......

tired..

2007-03-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

tired...tired....so so tired.....

not for now.....

2007-02-23T21:21:00.001-08:00

sleep quite early yesterday....after doing some notes on advertising i tot i wanna hav a nap...so i slept around 8pm set my alarm to wake up an hour after that....plan to had my dinner by then n continue studyin...but my my....i think i'm too tired....i cant wake up....my alarm rang each 15 minute.....i woke up every 15 minute to off it untill around 10...then i decided to just off it str8 and continue my sleep..... yups.....i sleept from 8pm till tis morning 8am..... woke up from an unpleasent dream.....something that make me sad and cant continue sleepin..... woke up.....write it in my diary..... hiaz.........why does love never turn right with me? every time....... how i wish i could miss d one i missed last time or even miss the person that missed me now.....but instead i choose to miss someone that dont appreciate me....
guess....i hav had enough of all that.....i dont want to think about love anymore.....i would want to concentrate on my studies....plus.....tis semester is just a killing semester....too many stuff to do......i have no time to be sad..... stand up.......be tough....be can walk tru it.....

piggy new year~

2007-02-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

erm....piggy new year.....well....at first.....i wanna sing....chi ka la tong chiang tong chiang~ hahaha happy chinese new year dude~ wel.....i'm back at k Yell again~ yeah i know....its kinda early for me to be back....usually i will spend around one week at my home town .....but....erm it was a different year......yes ....as i mention....it was different this year.....thing that i do....its not the similiar thing i do every year....well...i went back to mellaca on saturday afternoon.....reach mellacca around 5pm...the first place we went was my grandparents graveyard.... dint manage to stay long there because it was rainin when we reach there.....put down some flowers..... have a look here n there.... take a lil time emo'ing.....then we have to leave...since the rain was getting heavy.... well...next we head to aunty rosemary house....it was the 1st year where we celebrated at her house.... as the years before we were at my grandparents house.....well..... dint manage to have alook at the house this time though....so we have our reunion nite dinner at somekinda restorant..... the next morning...which is on sunday,the new year....as usual....lunch at my uncle house.....hehe the uncle tat we call him ''ayam sup'' haha not the sup sup.....sup in hakka means uncle...hehe.... after the dinner..... we then head to kluang,johor......ermmm the unforgetable things that happen at kluang is the so called ''karaoke''....my my......the worst karaoke moment i have ever had.....and i swear to my self....that is the first time and the last time i'll be there! haha.... i was so boring at my aunt house that nite...and all in sudden my uncle suggested tht we go for a sing.....then i say....ok! as u know i love goin to d k..... well....i was like....giving the ....''ke no reaction an face'' wen i reach there.....my uncle stop infront of a temple .....and say.....here we are.....n i was like.....''huh?'' yeah....here, my uncle say again.....and we went down....the karaoke was under the temple!!! and wen we open the door...it was like an empty space...with a few sofa and a small stage in front and a tv...and of course the mic....and i'm speechless....i look at my sis....both of us ....no reaction.....omg! wat is this man! and the song......all my mom punya zaman.....no comment! haha...one more thing.....the toilet..... i had a shock....haha when my sis open the toilet door...she was like....omg! jiavern have a look.....then i was like...wat the hell! imagine....nothing in there....just a pipe on the floor! not even flush! u have to aim betul betul....if not.....kantoi la~and... i told my sis...i actaully wanted to shit...then she say.....shit la! i say! how the hell am i goin to shit! the shit ''chuit mei you lai' tak boleh keluar a! hahaha....kenocommentan....hahaha..... and then....on monday morning....woke up early to follow my uncle to his shop .....queko n shio yee my darling are finding me! excited to meet her! tat queko memang....tak pernah tepat masa....he told me tat he'll be leavin at 11 somthing...ended up...reachin at around 2 something....had our lunch at a kopitiam which the food sucks.....then journey to the batu pahat museum! haha....impressed....haha...first of all....those pictures....make me laugh till i cried.....muahahah...still laughing now...even i'm not looking at the picture....hhaha...all those instruments....those books! the drawings! the food tat great chef cook! the....er.....scary bear lookalike dog~ haha.....pervert dog.... hehe....had alot of fun there! even borrowed a few shopaholic books from shio yee! hehe.....so happy~had my breakfast this morning at the same old bak kut teh place at kluang....then....its time to be back at k Yell......

complicated feeling

2007-02-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

well...i dont really know how to explain how is my feeling now....its weird...its complicated....its all messed up......well first of all i'm sure i'm freakin bored....and that is why i have this extra time to think of such stupid things.....1st i've been thinkin....why am i not missing the person tat i missed alot last time...i mean .....how could i stop missing him? well...mayb i really manage to get over it...... but....it might not be a good thing....because by stop missing the pass...there will be sure a new person to be missed.....the sucks thing is....perhaps...this person even more do not deserve me to miss.....well on the other hand .....there are a person that is missing me and wanted me to miss him....and i did ...well miss him a lil for some time..... all this thing is so complicated.....i dont want to think about it....well...perhaps....i really do not want any relationship for the mean time.....just let me concentrate on my studies ba.....the others....just forget it....

not only that......haih.....i have this weird feeling every year before valentine.....erm i do not know how to explain it.....its just....weird....and .....bored.....and....sad....and ...haha okie...wat eva.....well....valentine is never been related to me .....i mean haha i have nothing to do with valentine.....its just not my day....like how poeple celebrated thaipusam and i dont....get wat i mean? okie what eva......but the weird thing about this year is.....i dont even have mood for chinese new year....i mean CNY! i use to be very excited every year before chinese new year.....but this year is just......i duno...really no mood at all.....i feel like even though i'm goin bck to my home town .....its still meaningless.....espeacially back to mellaca.....my grandparents are no longer there....i miss the moment where we reach at mellaca early in the morning one day before the cny ....and my grandpa will be there sitting on the living room reaady with the key to open the door for us....and entering the house....next head to the kitchen to meet my grandma which is busyin with the tasty lunch for us.......i miss them so much.....but....things wont be the same anymore.....both of them are no longer here...... i'll only be back to hometown for 3 days....and that 3 days include mellaca and kluang......man....i dont even feel like celebrating....like~ do i need to celebrate? bah~

for these few days....i will be abit more free.....well as i mention....only for this few days.....class started on next wednesday it self.... and .......then......here comes the assignment and mid term.....gonna be crazy ........ i'm feeling kinda stress edi.....well.....exam! i mean omg exam! i dont even know what hav i been studyin for tis pass 6 weeks..... been missing alot lecture this semester......and even thought i went to the lecture,i just cant pay attention to it....its just too boring....the lecturer sucks this semester..... what else i gonna say? i'm gonna sucks this semester......haih~ stress ........

Hints of Life....

2007-02-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

~it hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return,but wat is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.~

~ A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means alot to you,only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go~

~it's true that we dont know what we've got until we lose it,but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing intil it arrives~

~it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to like someone,and a day to love someone,but it takes a lifetime to forget someone~

~dream what you want to dream,go where you want to go,be what you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do~

~always put yourself in the other's shoe...if you feel that it hurts you,it probably hurts the person too~

~a careless word may kindle strife,a cruel word may wreck a life,a timely word may level stress,a loving word may heal and bless~

~the happiest of people dont necessarily have the best of everything ,they just make the most of everything that comes along their way~

~love begins with a smile,grows with a kiss,end with a tear~

nyawa-nyawa ikan~

2007-02-05T12:31:00.000-08:00

erm....i'm half dead now....these few days...rushin assignment......bah~ getting crazy....just presented my cultural assugnment yst and now rushing for my advertising assignment which i need to pass up tomoro....er wait...its 430am....haha sso it means tat i need to pass up later....haha....getting crazy edi.....never sleep for 2 night~ my brain gonna shut down soon~ i'm dead! hahaa.........stupid assignment~ bah~ things will be even worst when i;m back from cny~....even more assignment waiting for me! ......arrrgggg.... what a sem!

bah~~~ stress

2007-02-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

argg.....stress....assignment comes like it never gonna end ....... busying with cultural assignment this 2 days at quek house..... sittin at my room now.....stress with the advertising assignment....where u have to design a new product for the market.....so we choose..... a shoe that fits all size.....where we are applying the adjustable back tat u use for caps to shoe..... the prob is....the design....bah~ why are we making a fool of our self....by choosing such product......haih~ stress....i have no sense of cretivity at all.....my drawing even sucks...haha.... surfing info about the shoe features......looking tru crocs webpage....tot gonna curi some idea....since it is so famous...... and...unbelievable.....i..... a person tat all the way hates o thinks crocs shoe sucks.....actually like a design of crocs....... the disney beach crocs shoe.......so nice... available in four color : black,pink,pearl and red.....
well as for me...sure love pink la...but pearl is also nice,black looks cool,red is nice too!...hahaha duno whether they hav it at kl anot.....izit a limited edition one? if u guys are intrested...have a look on d webside.....

http://shop.crocs.com/pc-61-4-disney-beach.aspx?reqid=61&reqProdTypeId=41p&subsectionname=footwear&section=products

opss....i better continue with my work......bah~ stress~

strawberry~

2007-01-29T05:24:00.000-08:00

aih~ today so tired......after class melvin come n fetch me n winniee....aiseh....i always be tiang lampu lar~ so cham....haha.... we went to mid valley cause winnie wanted to go shopping~ wahhhh wahhh wahhh saw alot strawberry product~ so cute ~ so nice~hehe....acted childish when i saw strawberry.....got beg la.....dolls lar....hp hanger la.....earring la....so cute ...so cute...hehe.....
yeah~ salary gonna out~ first thing i will do it buy jay album......feel so guilty...his album out for so long edi i also not yet buy....wat to do....broke edi mar.....haha jay wait for me!!!! haha.....then gonna buy some strawberry things to reward my self....haha the strawberry hp beg i bought lsat time canot use edi.....the zip rosak....so sad....i love tat alot....aih~ then gonna shop for my cny cloth.....gonna buy my dad a presie for his belated bday~ gonna buy a presie for my sis ~ feel like buyin an mp4~ wa......byk nyer nak beli....tapi duit sikit jer....aih~ kerlian kerlian

emo again....

2007-01-24T07:27:00.002-08:00

i was all the way ok today....tryin hard to be ok.....but i did it.....but just dont know why....i failed...... went to dancing class.....towards the end of the class nicholai was like talkin about our performance......he said tat me and pui yee not dancing really good today.....we dont hav improvement..... and from tat moment .....i become emo again......is not that i mind what he say....its not his problem....i'm not even emo for such thing.....but it suddenly reminds me back of the thing that i have been 'fan nao' about......and then emo...... went to pasar malam with pui yee and his bf and their sisters...... the emo feeling is still there....then i try to walk faster and leave them..... i wanna walk alone.....wanna be alone.....i wanna take a break....and so....for the night....i walk alone...till pui yee called me.....waited for her infront of cimb back for quite some time......continue emo there......i dont even feel like talkin....my smile is so fake..... i am suppose to go yam cha wit them but i requested her to fetch me back....i really dont hav the mood to entertain or even face other ppl.....went back....been scold by my mom lagi.....haih......what a world......
i just ignore it and went to my room.....take the cotton out and remove my make up.....as i was tryin to clean my eyes....i feel hurt then i look at the cotton...there was blood....but not much....i was worried at first then i dont give a shit.....not like its gonna die o wat....haih wat eva la.....but i know something is in there....it hurts even if i blink my eyes...... who cares? no one will even care.....even my mom dont care.....why do my self have to care.....haih....i just scare it will swollen tomoro......i dont want ppl to saw me in this kinda condition.....i dont really feel well also...troat started to pain....abit headache....gonna be sick soon
haih.....i dont think i hav mood to go to tomoro class.....i dont wanna see any one .....i dont wanna pretend.....i dont wanna act infront of any1......because if i go....i have to show my happy face and act as if i'm ok.....i'm too tired of that.....
i'm really not in the mood....i just want to be alone....just me a break ok!
gi

so tired....

2007-01-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

its 12 now.....i think my friens are still havin their sweet dreams.....everyone sleep late yst...i
m even late.....but i think i should b d ealiest to wake up among the..... the moment i open my eyes....i started to think alot of things....and that means that i cant continue sleeping even tho i'm still freakin tired now...... well i have made a few decision....think of a few things i should do and shouldnt do.....i hope i can do wat i wanted to do..... i hope tis miserable life will end soon.....i need the happy jia vern back...not the pretend to be happy jia vern.....

changes in me....

2007-01-20T13:46:00.000-08:00

it is 6.26 am.....i still sitting infront of the computer ...tryin to find things to do......alot things changes in me this semester.....really alot.....well....i am actually getting really tired of all these.....i barely can take tis alone any more.....but.....me is still me....i still am a person that likes to keeps all the sadness my self and try not to tell anyone and not to tell even the person that hurt me ...i dont wan the person to be sad or even feel guilty on hurting me.....i just cant .....i rather i my self suffer the pain my self.....but....it is really hard.....i think i burst out today..... getting quite uncontrolable...... when i know that happened .....i ran out from the group....i dont want people to see me in this kinda condition...well 1st i my self cant bare to look at it any more...2nd i dont want people to c me in tis kinda condition 3rd....i just want to be alone......
i have learn or more to say that i hve done a few things that i never thought i will eva do it.....well...i think better not to mention it here.....but.... yes i have done it.....well....i has been thinkin....why did i do that? am i too stress? do i wanna find something that could change my life? am i too lonely?do i really love?well i really dont know...... mayb i think that i might be dyin soon....muahaha.....so try things that i have nv tried so that i wont regret someday.....nono i dont mean that i will kill my self.....hell no~ i wont do that.....dont worry....haha
well as i say....somethings,some problem make me do something that ended up will be another problem in me.....some problem has gone but inorder to make the problem to go i hav to accept another problem....to tell the truth....i rather i still be haunt by the same old problem....at least i'm getting use to it....but this new problem that come just to hard for me to face.....as i have to face it almost every single day.....i dont blame anyone....because i my self let things happen.... i know what i did is something that i shouldnt do but i still do it and i have to bare the pain my self.....i dont want anyone to feel guilty on what has happen to me......i dont want to add problem to any one..... sometimes it feels stupid to still loves to do something that u know is wrong....

having sleepless night.....sleepin after 6am every day from the day i started to have this problem...... and because of lack of sleepin people has been talkin bad things about me...such as..me having a bad live style......i'm not that kinda person that go 'wet' everyday.....i dont~ but.....when all this things happen....how do u aspect me to sleep? i just cant.....plus....studies and assignment has been even making things worst.....

i'm just so sad....why do problems keep happenin to me......why do sadness always be with me? cant a person treat me good and last longer? do i deserve all these?
well for now....i mean the decision i wanna make now is that.....to forget everything and just concentrate on my studies......things happens......just dont be serious about anything..... no big deal.....friens are still friens..dont worry......jia vern ...dont show ur emo face any more....
dont make people worry about u......(*if only there are la)

stress....

2007-01-16T04:13:00.000-08:00

i'm having sleeping problem again.....usualy this will only happen weeks before my exam.....but all in sudden, just only the 2nd week of the semester i started to feel stress.....getting damn alot assignment this semester..... more on assignment and practical this sem.....
well not only that..... having another problem which i think is one of the reason y i'm havin sleepless night...... haih....that is why i hate falling in love .....since the 1st one till now...... none is a happy ending.... happiness does not last

what happen to me?

2007-01-15T05:31:00.000-08:00

it's kinda crazy....i my self duno what is happening to me....well i'm actually ok or should i say normal tis morning.....and then all in sudden around 4pm...i started to act crazy....i mean....crazy for me is something different which is nt crazy but ....is total silence.....because when eva i dont speak there are sure something happen to me..... but...weird....i just dont know what happen..... i just keep silent the whole day till now...its like ...i dont feel like speaking....feeling is damn moody.... i even mistaken sha birthday is tomoro....what the hell? mayb i hav been thinkin about her bday since the passed week....i so scare that i will forget her bday and all in sudden i think of her...so then i tot her bday is actually 17th...then she told me ...are u mad ? then only i fell like....duh~ am i mad? wake up dude....sorry sha....i dint mean to forget.....
well continue about me..... as i told sha i''m getiing me....she asked me...."i tot u are better since u back to skool?''....yeah.... i'm alot better when i'm back .....but just today.....well if u asked me what happen? what am i sad about.....i cant answer u....i my self duno what happen....that is sad....

my blog...jayvern speak....

2007-01-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

some feller has been complainin about my blog....say that my blog is damn emo,talkin about family and that feller only........ orite....this is my blog....as in my 'my blog.....what else you expect me to write? haha.......well...in my life circle.....friends and family and tat feller.....what else i can write about.....orite orite....i try la....i try to be not too emo.....but....haha if things happens.....well for sure i'll find my blog to emo again....cause.....to blog when u are emo is the best lar......haha....well....about that feller....ok.....i try to minimise talking about him...well....nothing to talk about him anymore..... berita dah basi dah.....gonna get out of this.....

david birthday....

2007-01-11T00:56:00.000-08:00

we celebrated david bithday on tuesday which is on 9th of january........ it was fun...... we went to a all you can eat seafood steamboat near sunway.....the food there was great.... but pity our quek....he dont eat seafood...so go there pay rm20 just to eat vege and mee....haha...well.....and i being the 1st good person to peel the prawn for quek....haha then mark peel the 2nd one...and then....everyone peel one prawn for quek....hahaha...pity quek.....when he eat the prawn like we are forcing him eat some kinda shit.....hehe.... then as usual....they started the game..... where everything is mix up and then drink it up.....every guy drank that except lance and hou....well ok hou he sick that day...so ok la....but lance? no comment...he and his prawn.....haih~......haha then winnie are the 1st girl to try it....then me.......i tell u....it sucks to the max....feel like wanna vomit even tho i only tried abit....haha then.....i tercabar david.......i say ok i'll pour in this chilli then we drink half half......and then david was like ok......and i got a shock......alamak tersalah cabar....then everyone was like....ok ok ......no turnin back jia vern.....then they started to mix.....one scoop of chocolate aiscream,2 scoop on tom yam sup,1 bowl of chilli,1 raw egg........ ok...the split it to half.....dont think half is abit....its alot! ok...ok....since i say it i need to do it.... then i drink as much as i can so that i can finish it at one time......when the thing just wanted to go down my troat all it sudden i vomited it my self then i force my self to push it back..... and eww.....that taste is not only in my mouth it's also in my nose and also troat.....it sucks....sucks....the raw egg taste....the tom yam..... the chilli.....plus the sweet taste of aiscream.....eww........ but nvm.....i drink it just because of david birthday la.....if not....tak kuasa i wanna layan.....haha...
then we head to cineleisure....they wanted to play bowling......this is the best part of all.....we all sitting in mark's van......singging.....haha....it was like somekinda trip....it was fun! sang alot song....haha chinese ,english even malay,...... but.... i feel abit emo...when quek and mark started to sing 'feng'.....ish.....i try to control my self.......jia vern....dont think ....don think.....ok by then we reach cineleisure edi....the 1st thing i do when reach there is to vomit......i guess is the mixture.....eww.........but at least i feel better after that......things after that was kinda stupid.....we went in the bowling center then came out then go to red box then came out.....ended up decided to go back...when we reach mc......feel kinda boring.....so....we went to yam cha at murni.....chatted until quite late......and that's it......

love vs hate

2007-01-08T03:57:00.000-08:00

my msn nick is..... '' love the jay vern u hate''......welll alot people asked me.....why do i have such nick? what does it mean? how to love and hate in the same time....... dude i tell you.....yes it is possible to love and hate at the same time....... actually i have been using this nick for quite sometime...... welll it started when some bitch has been talkin somekinda shit behide me lar......its just to tell then that....even tho they hate me....they still need to love me.....got wat i mean?

but yet.....i'm suffering it my self.....i hate someone that i love.......and that sucks.....i hate him so so so much...but yet....i cant stop my self loving and missing tat bloody someone....... what the hell is wrong with me......and yet.....till now.... i really dont know what the fella want...... still hangging there .......dont want to do anything......

p/s: if you want someone to love you,you have to learn to love your self first.....because no one will love someone that do not love them self.....it is so hard to love you when you ur self dont love ur self.......

i'm back!

2007-01-06T21:26:00.000-08:00

hahaha.....i;m back at mc....so so so so happy....get to meet back the utar geng....haha reach mc edi get present....haha they all went to langkawi and get me something....so sweet...sorry dude...i dont even hav money to buy things for my self when i went there last time......thanks david and janice for the vochelle chocolate...thanks pk for the goldkean swiss liquer chocolate......haha thanks for even remember to buy me chocolate...thanks and sorry lance....hahaha.....me and winnie was like...scoldin him for forgeting us.....mana tau he memang got but for us only tat he dint giv us yet at time.....haha thanks lance for the vocka filled chocolates from finland.....freaking nice chocolate.....haha will get drunk.,..... so happy get to joke around wit u guys again...and quek....haha still with his .......''wuuuuuhooooo'' pose....hahaha ....so crazy......... really happy to get to see u guys....and winnie....haha what else i can say....so so so happy to c her.......haha keep calling her name all in sudden....haha miss her so much........
now sitting at my room...blasting the radio wit jay chou song again....haha long time never listen to his song edi....and gosh....how could i forget him? daripada so susah loving another guy.....baik i cinta je kat jay......hahah jay chou i love u....

wuuhooooo......skooll reopen tomoro~

.......

2007-01-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

bunga bukan sekuntum,kumbang bukan seekor,
sedarlah anda dari khayalan mimpi mu,
kembalilah anda di bumi nyata ini.....

xmas n new year

2007-01-04T03:04:00.000-08:00

well......reallly boring xmas n new year i had tis year........ but at least there r some one wit me..... xmas wit pui yee and her bf.... new year with sha..... just some photo to share....

the 3 crazy fella that eat aiscream at genting outdoor at night....freakin cold

me and pui yee lil mui mui
pui yee and me in d hotel

me & sha & yang at decanter
me & sha

dont be too late......

2007-01-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

If you're mad with someone,
and nobody's there to fix the situation...
You fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend.
And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody,
but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you.
And if you don't say it,
tomorrow can be too late.

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him.
Maybe that person has always loved you.
And if you don't tell her/him today,
tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend...ask her/him for it.
may be she/he needs it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today,
tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends whom you appreciate...tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well.
And if you don't and they leave or go far away today,
tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the
chance to show them... do it.
Maybe you have them there to show them
how you feel.
And if you don't and they leave today,
then tomorrow can be too late.

p/s:i might no be able to show it al...but....i have it inside....i hope my friends can do it.....show your love....u nv know what do the other person think about...... give a try!

fann chin....

2006-12-30T07:03:00.000-08:00

TAN JIA VERN...dont la so fann chin...... no u-turn.....it will never be..... takkan u nak orang cakap sekali lagi.........NO USE!

kill me ba la.....

2006-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

its so obvious.....i'm sick..... my troat is killing me,the lips is like its burning and its freaking red,nose even worst,dont even dare to breath tru nose...not because its stuck....its because my nose still hurts and its pain even when its only wind go tru it...its all because of that bloody skoping......my nose still hurts.....eyes are like droping off edi... whole body pain..... head its like gonna explode....but why? why am i still here...staying awake to write all this shit....... when i know i need to sleep and wake up early tomoro to work..... its all because.....i cant sleep.....cant forget....still thinkin ....still missing......kill me ba la......really suffer like this !

it haunt me back

2006-12-29T08:49:00.000-08:00

no~ no~ no~ JIA VERN nO! after the unplugged concert...or mayb i should say during the unplugged concert....that is the only thing i think of......duh~ plz no! i dont want it to come back....i will suffer in missing...... since i hav been told that it will not turn back to me any more....... its been told so clear...i've once manage to almost forgeting...but now everything is back again.....no one to blame but me......i'm the one that rejected it....now.....there is no u-Turn in life...there are never.....sad to say....... but.....i know my self so clear.....the past i need a few year to forget.... i think perhaps this i need another few years to forget also......blame my self.....kebodohan yang teramat sungguh dan terlalu sehingga telah mencapai ke tahap yang maksimum......BAGAK